It feels so good typing out Done! finally. I've lived in this house for just over ten years (please note I wish nothing but a slow and painful death for those that wouldn't let me work and thus buy a fucking house) and in that time, it took the housing association 9 fucking years to repair the roof so it wouldn't rain in my son's room (anyone involved in that should face child abuse and child endangerment charges as far as I'm concerned, start punishing ineffective housing maintenance and landlords in both the private and social sector will start complying with standards).

During that time, the dining room became a dumping ground as stuff had to be moved from room to room. Then of course, at some point after the housing association decided to make the house habitable, it was discovered that some 'genius' would 'damp proof' the front room by putting plastic between the brick and plaster. This obviously pulled water up the plaster and the wall started to crumble. The entire house was damp and in a state so bad, my furniture was collapsing. (The housing association tried to blame my tumble dryer at one point, that guy should be taken to field marked as a wasp sanctuary while naked and covered in honey.) 

It was very expensive and time consuming to put the house in order. Plus I had pneumonia, deadlines, problems with my employer and a workplace bully in that time. But I finally finished yesterday. 

It isn't decorated, but it is habitable. That's the important thing. Making it look pretty will come later. 

I still need to give the carpet and rug in the dining room a good shampoo and dust in there, but I can't do that until after the 11th when the last pile of shite is taken away. See picture below. And shampooing the rug and dusting will become part of the normal chore schedule. 

I can return to writing on the weekends from next week (going to rest today). Obviously I've been working on Main Character Energy (yes that title still sucks) before work in the mornings. I usually like to have 2 stories on the go at a time so from the notes I've written over the past few weeks during this final stretch of sorting out the house, I have picked one. I'm going with the simple one. It is pretty hardcore, at least in terms of erotic content because I'm going to be re-visiting Peacock's Pleasure Palace. I'll check the contract and with the publisher to see if the original short story can be published alongside the as of yet, untitled novella, like I did with Ketamine Addicted Pandas (if you haven't picked up a copy, the new version that I self-pubbed has the Panda Cub short story included with it). 

Main Character Energy is a nightmare of complexity and looping so expect the as of yet untitled novella to be available to purchase before that one (and given how long Main Character Energy is shaping up to be, I'll probably need a different publisher for it). I am still hoping to get the first draft of Main Character Energy done in time for when I'm off work over Christmas. 

And during this time, Crowfield finally received a review. I am super excited about that. I find trying to get reviews to be the absolute worst part of the publishing process.  

And in case anyone is wondering, for my things to watch list, I am up to:

• Hazbin Hotel (I watched the Youtube pilot yesterday)
• and Plur1bus (i think Apple is the place to be for television viewing now). 
• Really looking forward to Stranger Things as well. 

I will be taking TV and notes breaks between stories going forward. Without scumbags asking what I'm doing to improve my life (as if my degree isn't good enough) and calling it help, I can finally do what I want and breaks make my stories stronger. 
And I'm so excited that finally, after all these years of hard work and dealing with the house and so-called 'help' that I can say yes to being able to meet up with my friends and have the life I wanted to have when I left university. 

I really hate that title. It is just awful. Hopefully as I work on it, a new title will appear. 56 Seconds was originally titled "The Invisible People" and I need something to save files as. 

I've been working on this story as I gradually get the house sorted (it has been a long journey and most of what I'm doing now was meant to be done earlier in the year but I had pneumonia and then Crowfield had to be complete, plus various short story deadlines). But I have a bit of downtime this weekend, because a) I've got one of those pesky colds (I feel miserable and need Vick's and paracetamol, but I'm not that sick) and b) see the picture below v

I can't do the final task (clearing the cupboard under the stairs) until this pile of broken furniture is gone. I will be dragging it outside on Wednesday to be collected Thursday. Then there will be space for more shite (hopefully most of it can go on Freecycle so I won't have to wait for the council's bulk waste removal again). So I have some downtime this weekend (then I'm done until February when me and my child will be repainting the bathroom). I thought I would use the opportunity to tell you about what I've been working on. 

For the most part, when I'm not cleaning, buying cleaning supplies or new furniture, I've been writing a lot of stuff in my notebooks. But that doesn't work in the mornings before I head to my actual job (in marketing for all you mansplainers who like to pretend I don't know anything about SEO or social media). In the mornings, I need to stare at words on a computer screen as I drink my coffee and become human. I've been working on this weird experimental story currently titled Main Character Energy. 

It is sort of like Groundhog Day. The two characters live the same day repeatedly. But, things change with the introduction of tarot cards. This is something I've been wanting to do with my writing since university. In fact, the deck I'm using was purchased during uni for this very purpose. I just never got around to writing a story incorporating tarot with all the drama floating around me (really everyone should have left me alone to work, trusted I knew what I was doing and the lack of acceptance only told me that anyone claiming to love me didn't even like me let alone love me). I must say, I am really enjoying writing this one, but then again, I really enjoy everything I write. 

Even the repetitiveness of the events that happen each day is fun. There's donkey rides down the beach. A crab that gets puked on. Basically, what you'd expect from a rundown British seaside resort. And of course, the tarot reader. I've also incorporated a bit of a half written story from a few years back (why yes, it does involve eyeballs).

I'm not sure how long this one is going to be. It was originally only one sequence long, then was going to have the repetitiveness but with things only slightly changed. I haven't really started to look at publishers for it. I'll do that when it gets closer to being finished. Even though the short story was going to be for 13 Days Publishing (who published Crowfield) this might be too long for them, but we'll see. 

I'm not sure what I'll be working on next. I have loads of notes for a lot of very different stories, including splatter, some sort of really dark horror thing involving the dark net and hauntings, some hardcore erotica and bizarro. 

Once my house is sorted out, I'll get that next story ready to be worked on in the mornings too because I like to have two different ones on the go at a time so if I get stuck on one, I've got the other there. It makes my mornings easier to handle and therefore sets the tone for the entire day. 

As you can see, the tower was drawn early on. And don't think the ten of cups and ace of cups are so positive in this story (that really needs a better title). 

Apart from posting that Crowfield will be out soon (this upcoming week now), I haven't posted since June. I have obviously been busy working on finishing books. With the exception of Crowfield, which I had started last year (or maybe the year before), I'm focusing on ones that were intended as short stories but became longer right now. That leaves me with Main Character Energy (working title that I hate) and New Money Slaughter House (also a working title). For the next few weeks, while I deal with the big seasonal clean (which wasn't done in the spring due to having pneumonia), I'll only be writing before work in the mornings. However, I don't have a beginning for New Money that I like so I will be writing that in a notebook in the evenings or on Sundays when I'm resting. I also have few new things in notebooks that I will be working on while the cleaning is underway. 

First up, I need a chest of drawers for my bedroom and a second bookcase for downstairs. I will be going to purchase those after I finish my coffee. Then a weekend for the kitchen (which usually gets down twice per year) and then the cupboard under the stairs which hasn't been sorted out in a few years. After that the windows and a large clean of the entire house. Then I'll be done. Doing these big cleans makes the house easier to keep clean with a weekly and monthly chore schedule and gives me more time to focus on what matters to me. 

PS there's still two of these short stories that I was working on this year to be released. They are with their publishers now but no news on a release date. 

I think I had posted earlier in the year or late last year that I intend to work on longer projects and return to publishers. I then went onto explain how this would impact my output, ie, there would be considerably less released from me for quite some time. Then I got sick. However, I am taking the summer to ensure my immune system rebuilds itself (I had a terrible cold right after recovery, possibly because I tried to do too much too soon). 

As part of my summer of recovery, I will be doing what I want to do, including but not limited to writing a novel. Having less output and not going out as much as I typically like, does not mean I'm broken, nor does it mean that I have time to chat on social media. When I have time, I tend to clear it for long time friends or people within the creative industries. I do not clear it for random strangers on the internet. I've just been sick and would like to fill my summer with finishing one of these novels I have planned out and research what is turning into a novella that was originally meant as a short story for The Clubhouse 3 (don't worry, I sent Crystal Cook something else, called Exposure Night). 

Novels, although they can be easy to write (this one isn't as I have to keep looking stuff up), are time consuming. It took me about 7 months to write Ketamine Addicted Pandas and that was before I started working full time and before I managed to rebuild my art skills. I have a lot on right now even though I'm spending most of my time at home. 

​Some of what I have on includes an increase in social media posts. This includes resurrecting Story Time (which I really missed doing). I also have another video project I'm working on but I'm keeping that (as with details of what exactly I'm doing to myself for the time being). But for the most part, I am not sharing everything I am working on right now. 

When I'm not working on these projects, I am resting, recharging or getting some sleep. I shouldn't have to explain the importance of downtime, especially when your schedule is fucking packed to adults. 

In other words, I'm happy, I don't need to explain myself. I'm only not happy when I'm at work or having to deal with people who seem intent on messaging me constantly and demanding my attention. 

The facebook algorithm seems to have updated in the last four weeks or so. I'm not the only person who noticed this. This blog post will be based on my personal experiences using facebook since the beginning of the year.

​This isn't just some paranoia. I have proof.  

My views are down 40% in the last 28 days. They've been down since the beginning of the year in reality. There are some external factors to consider:

• Early January someone tries to start drama with me. The drama king was utilising some highly manipulative tactics to sell books and targeting group admins, which included me. Then went crying to his online friends, showing screenshots, etc. when told that the behaviour is drama-inducing and not allowed. That affected my views and book sales (yes it has been documented as I am under legal and medical obligations to do so).
• Also Early January. The USA's president was sworn in. Now, by this stage, I've had quite enough of Americans behaving as if the world revolves around them, so I completely ignore the politics. Not only that, but regardless of how many hard facts I have to back up my opinions of the USA president or how his behaviour grates on all things fundamentally British (like seriously, we don't like loud and brass, it is disgusting), I have relatives in the USA who have temper-tantrums if I express any sort of independent thought. Last time, I lost my job and nearly ended up homeless. So I stayed out of it. Again, when he won the election, my son was undergoing hospital testing and I was very stressed about this and traffic was heavy, I posted about this on social media but the Americans decided that their opinions were more important than my child's life (again documented, etc). So I stay out of the American politics. However, that earlier incident (November) did not affect my page views and interactions. 
• Late January. I fall ill with what I thought was one of the various infections going around at the time (COVID, influenza, and two others with similar symptoms but I can't remember what they were). 
• February. Still not recovered (struggling to get out of bed). I go to the GP. They suspected post viral fatigue or long COVID. I agree as the symptoms match. I'm obviously not posting much on social media because I am very sick. However, I continue to try to attend work (there was talk of signing me out for a week from the manager and then if I needed more getting the GP to sign me out for another week or two, I don't get sick pay, so this would have been on Statutory Sick Pay) and attend routine cosmetic appointments (my hair is bleached white and I get builder's gel on my nails). I posted about that here and here. 
• March. Still not better. I miss Saint Patrick's Day (which is a big deal in Liverpool). Turns out I have pneumonia, which I had in my teens and always thought I'd recognise it again. However, I start to recover (and it was a different type, a childhood friend had this one while I had the more common bacterial pneumonia in my teens - I recovered once I had treatment, she had a long, long road to recovery). Still immensely stressed from the host of arm chair diagnoses I received (again, another crass American thing, our healthcare system is not for profit and I could be here all day writing about how that particular creeping Americanisation is causing serious harm to people, but I think I'd rather express that as a horror story, especially as I have too much to do right now to deal with people who are only 'helping'). 

But as you can see, earlier on in the year, I had things going on that would affect my ability to post on social media. And thus, affect my page views. Then the USA election. Americans are fearful and upset (that doesn't give them the right to take it out on others, but they do have the right to post on their own walls about it). So, at first, those posting about the USA election, president, Elon Musk, etc, etc were getting more views and interactions. But that should just be a little blip. My social media feed, so what I see is back to normal. Less USA politics, more insulting Starmer and bring back Corbyn or stuff I actually interact with (lots of cleaning reels because I watched them while I was sick and if you head to my TikTok, you can see me purchase and use some of the products the cleaning influencers get sponsorship from - if I have to do chores, I might as well have fun). 

When I posted the other day about how I'm not getting any views, a few people saw and commented that the same was happening to them. One person stated it is to do with politics. I don't think it is. And even if people are boycotting Facebook (I think I saw something about that, I'm struggling to keep up with what is being boycotted), again it shouldn't cause a 40% decrease in a profile that was already down. 

I looked into the Facebook algorithm to see if anything has changed in the last month. The best practices for facebook hasn't changed. I generally post pretty boring content. I started these posts because people were demanding my time that I just don't have, so I post about chores and laundry and going to work. After being ill, I started posting selfies again to see if that would get people to stop armchair diagnosing me (because I find that very stressful, insulting, harmful, offensive, etc). But prior to January and up to May, people were interacting with these posts. I was responding (a big part of Facebook best practices is responding to comments). And I post pretty consistently. I do a lot in a day and unfortunately, feel the need to share it for the aforementioned reasons. 

Until this past week when I became frustrated with the lack of views, I didn't share links with the majority of my posts (now I figure, fuck it, not many people are seeing anyways, might as well share links to my books). Facebook doesn't like links that take you away from the platform. However, looking at views, posts with links are getting around the same amount of views as my selfies and cat pictures. 

According to my research, Facebook wants more reels and videos. In the past, I would post these and get loads of views (this goes back years). Lately, I've been posting more reels (very different to my TikTok content) but again, I'm lucky if anything gets 100 views. Whereas last summer, I posted a reel with my cat in her pram at the park and got over 600 views in under an hour. They're the same sort of reels - my cats, seagulls, pigeons etc. Nothing has changed there except for views. 

Another best practice is posting content that creates meaningful conversations. Now, my posts are shallow AF but they've typically had the interactions and conversations in the past. People don't necessarily want to argue, I don't want to argue, I don't like drama, so I'm not going to post stuff that would create high-levels of arguments or people being ugly. Nor am I going to post things that I disagree with on a fundamental level (ie, body confidence, which confidence is not a gift, that is very disempowering and again, I could be here all day explaining why gifting people confidence or diagnosing them with low confidence is harmful). Nor am I going to post things that are just a statement that glosses over serious issues in the world. I do try to scroll past the glosses and people simply parroting something they heard somewhere. So I stick to cats, chores, birds. But again, my way of posting has worked up until now. And I'm fully aware it is dull.

Facebook like authentic content, that isn't click-baity. Due to how dull my content is, it isn't designed to illicit strong opinions or emotions, it is far from click bait. And regardless of being boring, it is authentic. This is my real, day-to-day life. (I like my life to be boring, when I want excitement, I go do something exciting like see a band or go out to eat.)

This is pure speculation, but facebook recently rolled out its AI features. I'm not a fan of generative AI, but I have noticed its saturation into daily life (and working in SEO marketing, it is difficult not to notice how it is being used on google right now). I haven't even explored Facebook's generative AI features. I'm guessing my lack of AI is affecting my post reach and is also affecting the reach of others not using it. I could again, be here all day, writing about how harmful AI is for the environment, how annoying it is on google, how it isn't accurate, how it ignores copyright - basically, I have a lot of negative things to say about AI, but I accept, no matter how much I dislike it, it is here to stay. Those of us who don't use it are going to have to accept that so we can work around it. I don't have any easy solutions for working around AI (yet). But I do enjoy creating art and stories about generative AI. 

I hope Youtube's algorithm hasn't changed too much to promote AI content as I'll be recording for Story Time later. (Will be researching Youtube's SEO next today, have to hang up the laundry first and maybe have some lunch). 
​Here's that story I mentioned. You can also buy a copy of the anthology it is in. 

If you aren't on facebook, here is a sample of how boring my posts are. If you are on facebook, you can follow my profile for these posts. 

And another boring one but with a facebook text background: 

And below, we look at selfie analytics with a random selfie from May and another from April. Although I did my 'one selfie per day to keep the creeps away' in the past, I mainly stopped with the excessive selfies when I started at the job I'm at now. As stated earlier in this post, I only started them again to get people to understand that I've been sick and have a lot going on. 

Top is from May, bottom is from April. 

If I come up with any ideas in regards to the generative AI, I will share them. But right now, I'm blank (beyond writing stories and creating art about how wrong it can go, etc). 

While unwell, I managed to send Jeani Reactor one of my digital portfolios, with the message "ignore the graphic design, I do my best to avoid using AI stock but I cannot promise that it is AI free". She had been having problems getting art for the Horror Zine that is free of AI slop. She picked some of my older pieces to include in the Horror Zine April Issue. 

​Before I fell sick, I had been working on some drawings. I will be getting back to them over the upcoming weeks. I can't do any new paintings until I sort out a dining room table (which I had intended on doing over the winter, but I spent all winter sick).

So, I did accomplish some things while unwell. PS. I will obviously be happier and have more energy. Having a viral infection is not pleasant and I was under medical advice to rest. A viral infection does take away energy. Trying to arm chair diagnose me with something I don't have, especially while being under medical care while unwell is only going to have you reported to the relevant authority. I shouldn't have to explain the nature of viruses to adults, but yet, here we are (five years after a global lockdown caused by a viral infection). 

I am keeping my opinion of any boycotts to myself (see my previous post about struggling to manage stress after being unwell). I am coming more from a place of acceptance. Boycotts are real. People are organising them. People are taking part. I will not be arguing for or against these boycotts. It is a waste of energy for someone who doesn't have much or much time under the best circumstances. These boycotts, in turn, have hurt my book sales. Here's some other options to get my books. 

• However, Amazon is not the only place to buy my books. You can head on over to godless and buy my self published ebooks.
• You can also buy signed books directly from me. Full disclosure: I do use amazon's KDP services and these were, as a consequence, printed from amazon, but before the boycotts. 

As I've posted previously, I have been unwell since the end of January. I had been diagnosed as having post viral fatigue, but after a Monday night spent with my lungs hurting and a Tuesday spent in bed bringing up god knows what from my lungs and then a week of runny nose, tiredness etc, I seem to be on the actual path to recovery. It is very possible I was misdiagnosed with post viral fatigue and had something more along the lines of the notoriously difficult to spot dry pneumonia. At any rate, I am feeling a lot better, although not 100 percent. At the worst, I was unable to open the window at work due to weakness but I can do that now. 

However, due to being unwell for so long, I am having difficulties managing stress. Technically, I am under medical and legal advice to stay away from certain types of people. But in reality, that just isn't possible. So I have specific technics for dealing with them, but being unwell, I couldn't do so. Adding to that, because I've basically been under medical advice to rest since early February, I haven't actually gone out other than to work, routine appointments or to pick up a few bits since before Christmas (I rarely make plans in January, January is meant for writing, resting and giving my bank account a break). So, for the most part, the only people I've been around are people I'm meant to avoid wherever possible anyways (the controlling types who think they know what is best for everyone, don't let others finish their sentences because apparently these people know exactly what is to be said, etc). I've been down this road before in Liverpool when I had a bunch of people like that dumped on me and every time I managed to escape one, two more would be dumped on me. 

Also, my gel nails came loose while I was still really unwell. I did have them reapplied because I just thought I had post viral fatigue and they do sometimes come off, but it seems as if there wasn't enough nail and my natural nail is so weak, they had nothing to grip onto. I will have to get the rest of them taken off. It'll be anywhere between 4-12 weeks before my natural nails can take fresh builder gel. I get the builder gel because my fingernails are so brittle that they break and catch in my clothing, so I'm in for an unpleasant few weeks. (Not like I should have to justify getting my nails done, but there's been enough people around me who seem to think I get them done for others when it is purely self-care, it isn't even selfish. People like that are cunts and pretty damn dangerous ones at that.) I forgot being sick can cause problems with nails. 

So, I seem to be recovering. But it will be some time before I'm back to my usual self. Obviously, being unwell also attracts a host of pretty horrible people who want to 'fix' me or 'help' me or 'look after' me. So, they need to be dealt with as well. (Honestly I can't stand these predatory types who prey on people when they're vulnerable.) Then adding these predators to the people I'm not meant to be around to begin with, they both attract each other. 

While unwell, I did manage two interviews and the new books are coming along. If you follow my social media, you will sometimes be treated to an out-of-context post it note. 

These novels I'll be working on for the next three to four years deserve their own playlist. If you followed me on social media around early 2018, I was starting to play around with having a specific playlist for writing and then another for chores. Those stories eventually became Era Two and started with a Sugababes song. From there, I eventually ended up with Coil's version of Tainted Love being the main song on my playlist. 

This time around I am starting with Nine Inch Nails with Starfuckers Incorporated. However, unlike the Sugababes song where it was the lyrics that were inspiring, it is the visuals of the music video. Basically, I will end up with two playlists:

• One for when I'm physically at my laptop writing.
• The other for when I'm out and about or doing chores. 

I'm looking for suggestions for the chores list. I already have Backstreet Boys and Judas Priest on there. I'm not a big fan of boy bands or heavy metal (although slightly more tolerable than other types of metal). From those songs and the chores playlist, others will make it onto the main writing playlist. 
The rules are:

• No Post-Autobahn Kraftwerk. Firstly, that is God-tier and secondly, that is final draft music and has been since university. 
• No Placebo. Another God-tier band and they're already on both playlists. 
• Songs must be in English, German or Spanish unless you specifically state something like "hey this song is in French but look at the visuals in the official music video". 
• Avoid because they're already on the writing list: Siouxsie and the Banshees (really shitty music videos though) and I'll likely be reintroducing Coil. (Also no more Backstreet Boys and Judas Priest, the point of the playlist is to break up how often I hear their songs because I'm not a fan of either.)
• I am not a big fan of metal. No I don't need to 'just check it out'. That's why I don't like metal to begin with. It has been forced on me a lot in my life. I understand people get excited about the things they like, but a very small selection of metal fans take it too far. 
• No Depeche Mode because they dominated my last writing and chores playlist (especially Some Great Reward or songs from that album including Master and Servant and People are People). 
• Suggesting something will not make it 'our song'. 
• Your song may not end up on the playlist but it may influence or lead me to something that will. 

The genres I'm writing in are irrelevant to these playlists. Please post your suggestions on my social media accounts, preferably my facebook page. 

And here's Coil's Tainted Love for the sake of it. (If I hear anything related to "Soft Cell/Marc Almond original" or "The original came out in the 1950s" it didn't, it came out in the 1960s, I will have to document your behaviour. You aren't special, clever or impressive. However, if that behaviour fills part of a larger pattern, you will be reported to the relevant authorities.) Yes, this version was released about two years after the Soft Cell version and I believe it was by the same record label as well. Yes, that is Marc Almond. 

I was sick at the end of January and now seem to have some sort of post virus thing going on (according to the GP). My weekends need to be spent resting until I feel better. Sometimes, this means I'm just watching TV so I haven't done any new graphics for my books.

Hopefully, I'll feel 100 percent soon. I am slowly but surely showing signs of improvement and going longer stretches before my body just gives out and I can't get out of bed, think straight or write properly. Anything I write during this period will need to be gone over once I've recovered as I keep mixing up words (which is annoying). So please bare with me. I am following the medical advice to hopefully recover sooner and not get sicker. I still have to go to work though (no sick pay). 

Being unwell like this does also make managing my stress levels difficult, which isn't helping much.