Just a very quick post today because I am super busy. I managed to get Snow White into the resting stage, ready to be picked up again in a few months. I'm going to miss working on that but deadlines call. And I might have monthly releases over the summer. I do have notes for various stories ready to go. This does include a new Chester and Lester story. It'll give me time to think about how I'm going to release Snow White. When completed it is going to be around 100-120k. I'm not sure I want to self-publish something that long but with both The Midnight Pumpkin Fucker (Cinderella) and The Snow Queen self-published and with a tie in to The Snow Queen (who do you think the prime minister that haunts Winter's thoughts is?) I'm not sure if I can find a publisher to take it on. I could break it into segments and release one per month over 2023. I'm sure there are other possibilities I haven't thought of as well. At this rate, you can except Dream Princess (Sleeping Beauty) to be ready to go before Snow White is. 

In terms of deadlines, obviously the line up for Fucking Scumbags Burn in Hell 2 has been announced so I am working on that. Plus, I'm not exactly confident with self-publishing now but after spending all of 2021 self-publishing, I'm feeling ready to follow the publishing plan I had when kindle became a thing so that means I need to start submitting to slushpiles again. I know of a few that'll be opening soon so I want stories ready to submit. 

I'm not sure if I'll get a chance to post on here next week either. In addition to actually writing the stories, I have an art commission, I have cleaning to do and it is meant to be payday (fingers crossed) so me and his royal highness will be going into town and buying him some much needed school shoes and I need a decent pair of trainers for walking (Converse are fine for walking that distance every now and then but not daily). I thought we'd make a day of it because the last few months have been so miserable. 

Have a great week (or two) everyone. 

PS I have not forgotten the people that have helped me out. Not just in the last few months with my clothing and groceries but going right back to the end of 2017. Once I have a confirmed paycheque I will do a big mushy post about how much it has helped me and the long-term impact on my life. But thank you.  

BThis is my second weekend since starting the new job. I managed to get all the chores done today (Saturday) and wrote about 1000 words (but I might write a bit more). These early weeks are all about experimenting with the time I'm not at work so I can find out the most efficient ways to get done everything that needs to be done. Once I figure out the chore schedule (although after that second and probably third and fourth paycheques I'm going to have to go shopping in the city centre) I can fit writing and dancing around that. Shopping won't normally be a consideration. Within the next few weeks I'm going to have to sort out the garden too, which won't become part of my weekly chore schedule. It is paved so there's no grass to cut. I do need to pull weeds out from between the paving slabs and sweep. And with pigeons...
Well, this is my first year with pigeons. I'm hoping to get them a shed or something in the upcoming months. I know they don't want to be caught but I don't like the idea of domestic pigeons living completely wild (there's pictures a few posts below this one).

Writing. I looked up the NaNoWriMo daily word count. 1667 words seems like a good daily target to aim for. That obviously won't always be on the same piece. Sometimes I have deadlines so have to put things on the back burner and other times, I get bored with something and need to give it a rest until I'm excited about it again. And if I get writers block, I have visual art. And if I get a block on that, I have circuit bending. And if I have a general creative block I have a TV and there's so many books I want to read. But again, these early weeks are all about experimenting with my schedule and finding what works and what doesn't. 

Dancing. This one is really important. If I don't do it, or skip too many days, everything hurts (like that REM song Everybody Hurts, except it is my entire body and all the time). I prefer doing it in the morning. Dancing away the lingering traces of PTSD I wake with really makes a difference to my overall mood (the PTSD usually settles within an hour or two of being awake, but getting rid of it within the first half hour of being awake makes everything better). Even just 15 minutes is enough to improve my day and ensure I don't ache. It obviously didn't help with my weight loss but walking to work and being away from my kitchen are dealing with that (how the actual fuck am I meant to lose half my body weight!?!, fuck that shit! It will eventually stop coming off with the lifestyle changes and when it does, that will be a good healthy weight and I will buy nice clothes and anyone suggesting I need to be the same size I was when I was 21 can GFT). 

I'm going to mess around with wake up times this week so I can get writing and dancing in before I have to go to the job. Even on days I'm going to wake at 5AM it won't be that bad because I no longer need to sneak around and I'm doing what I want to do. I know I used to get up at 5AM when I had a hateful day job that left me in tears every single fucking goddamn day but this is different. The toxic people are gone and I have a job I actually enjoy. Not only do I enjoy it but I spent eight very long years re-training so I could work it (obviously when I finished university the plan was to freelance because my mother and then freelance when my son was too young to come home to an empty house - fuck all those people that tried to get me to work in a supermarket when he was five, really? leave a five year old home alone, what the fuck is wrong with you? those people included teachers at his school, instead of leaving me alone to build up a business and freelance so we wouldn't be in poverty, they harassed me into deeper poverty, I hope they choke on a cock). 

This past week's book release did mess with my writing and dancing schedule a bit so I will remember that for future book releases. Good to get one in there early though. But this week will be about finding a writing and dancing schedule that works for me. The book release was Tainted 07/The Human Connection. Two short stories, one book, 50 cents, only on godless. 

Drawing just gets done when it gets done unless it is a book cover for something I'm self-publishing. If I'm not knitting when I'm watching TV then I'm probably drawing because I still can't just sit there. 

Social Media. I'm starting to see how I can post on social media and keep up with people. However, my phone is dying. I will get a new one probably not with that second paycheque, but with the third and then I'll be back to my usual posts. The selfies won't be every day anymore though but I will start messing with the filters again. TikTok must be the biggest battery drain of them all. And obviously there are going to be times when I'm busier than usual. I still don't know what I'm doing with the YouTube account other than posting videos on there so I can then embed them on here (maybe I should just get a paid website rather than this free one?). Originally I set it up for the Broccoli moving image and soundscapes but I never finished those. But in the future (maybe next year) I might start getting back into that sort of thing. I still have some of my Broccoli footage on my old Mac. I have some designs for The Panda Says No! too. And I still have a project for 56 Seconds planned in my head (it hasn't even made it onto paper yet). 

And as this coming week is the worst financially I am still asking for donations if you can afford to do so. Or a food delivery (contact me on social media for that one).  

This is more a reminder that if Tainted 07/The Human Connection is successful I will repeat a double short story release for both Halloween and Christmas. These may or may not be Era Two stories. I may even bring back X/Xanthe (the torture porn story that was so horrible it contained an additional warning in a book of hardcore horror). That means, review the book. And check out my other godless releases.  (They need reviews too, and goodreads reviews are appreciated, I don't really know how to use goodreads but I see the reviews, just ignore German Dani Brown's stuff, I've given up trying to get it removed, even Amazon makes removing German Dani Brown's stuff relatively easy.)

In the meantime, next week looks like my worst week financially before things start to improve. If you would like to donate to my Ko-Fi or have groceries delivered (or even a Just-Eat or Dominoes) it would be so greatly appreciated. For food delivery, you can contact me on social media. 

I have reached the end of the first week of my new job. This is the job I spent eight years retraining for (against my will as I was happy in the field I was in, but my mother was controlling and the education system when you move countries at the age of 16 is not a good experience, I do not recommend it at all).

Some people think because I went to university I had everything handed to me and spent ten years after I graduated making my life a living hell. Alternatively, some people think because I'm a single mother I have no ambition in life and I guess all my qualifications magically disappeared and made my life a living hell for ten years after I graduated. And then there were the people that thought because I'm a woman I didn't know what I wanted out of life or how to get it and made those ten years after I graduated a living Hell. At the end of December 2017 I was finally able to escape and put my life back to where I want it. With legal changes followed by cultural changes (as I wouldn't have been able to do it without those two things) I have spent four years getting to this point. 

The next few weeks are going to be spent getting used to having a schedule. I know I was going out to a day job every week, but that was only a few hours. Freelancing was doing work as it came in. There was no sense of stability (which was the entire point of going to university). I would have been able to cope with that when I was younger and had more energy but those ten years.  

As a result, I am not going to be as active on here or on social media for the near future. I have to prioritise getting used to the schedule and then fitting dancing and writing around that. I still don't draw on a schedule. When I accepted the job offer I spent ten hours fixing the website so it is easier for you to navigate and for me to update. The only section I didn't touch was "Press and Pictures" as that's going to take at least another ten hours. I will try and update at the weekends as I can during this transition. 

Once I'm into a healthy routine then I'll start posting more frequently. It is a huge adjustment. I haven't really had a schedule since college. Yes I went to university. My class wasn't really one where the students showed up all that frequently. And yes, when I first started working a day job it was four days per week. I was constantly on edge, miserable and frequently in tears so that doesn't really count. I was also waking up at 5AM just to get in a few hundred words and then go around in circles arguing with people with cluster b personality disorders (seriously herding cats is easier). 

I'm obviously much happier now. I'm on the path towards doing what I want to do and what I set out to do after finishing university (although those ten years should have been spent freelancing as I couldn't work with my mother the way she was and then I had a small child with no access to childcare, then by the end of the ten years I didn't have a reliable computer so it was still about 18 months before I was able to take clients after the unhappy sucky times ended). I know with the world the way it is currently and all the stress floating about one of the warnings to look for that something isn't right with someone is changing in their social media habits. My changes in habits are for all the right reasons and I feel better than ever (at least mentally, my long term health issue is still being a bitch, hopefully some weightloss will at least ease that a bit). Once I'm into a routine I will be bringing back my selfies. It won't be on a daily basis like they were but with leaving the house with more frequency I'm going to need to do something to protect against creeps. 

Although the much longed for stability is in my near-future as I was living hand-to-mouth before I am really hurting for money, probably until that second paycheque. I know there's a cost of living crisis (probably with a recession, probably worse than 2009) but if you can help me out, either by donating money to cover bills or ordering me a grocery delivery that can be delivered on the weekend or between 6-8 PM weekdays I will really appreciate it. Contact me on social media for paypal or my address for groceries. I anticipate needing this last bit of help until the end of April or beginning of May (monthly pay but I don't know when exactly that pay day is). I will keep my Ko-Fi account open after that but I shouldn't require anymore help but someone else will. I will obviously make a big long gushy post when that day comes (I can see it, it is nearly here). 

​And finally, Tuesday the 15th sees Godless turn one. My one year godless anniversary isn't until next month so hopefully I'll have time to post then. But this Tuesday I have a book releasing along with a few others to celebrate. I won't be able to post about it on Tuesday but I'll hopefully have a chance next weekend. There's usually at least one book released on godless each day. I highly recommend downloading the app and turning on notifications so you don't miss anything. I will try to keep up with sharing Godless daily posts on my social media during this transition but I can't make any promises. 

I have to get used to wearing actual clothes again. No more pyjamas, except at night and on the weekends. Polyester is a bit scratchy. PS my skin is dry from the painkiller gel I use. It doesn't normally look like that. 

We're approaching the four year anniversary of me writing 56 Seconds followed immediately after by Becoming. When I started writing 56 Seconds I wrote on whatever scrap of paper I could find that first day and then typed it right after I put my son to bed. Unfortunately I threw out that first scrap. By the next day I knew I was writing something special and dug out a notebook my sister gave me either for Christmas or my birthday the year before.

In the video I included the notebook for Stef and Tucker for comparison. While finishing 56 Seconds on the laptop I was writing notes for Becoming and other stories in the notebook and on post-it notes. I think I started carrying around index cards with me around that time as well as the post-it notes weren't surviving in my bag.

Unfortunately after finishing Becoming the creeps decided I had been single long enough (I hadn't) and started the sexual harassment, which was very stressful and I lost the rhythm of these poetic pieces (and then some personal drama, followed by neighbours from Hell, excessive amounts of freelance work). As I write Snow White that style is returning to me. As I say in the video, Dream Princess is going to end up as a fairytale after I finish Snow White (Sleeping Beauty). I do need to go through The Daisies That Open at Midnight, We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams and That's Where All the Magic Is and fix them as they're not working as they are right now. After that I will write The Memories of the Excess of Yesteryear, Powered by Cocaine. I am hoping to do that by the end of the year. And if you've seen my Instagram or public facing but personal facebook page, you know I've come up with a way to repel the creeps. 

On 15th March 2022 I will be releasing two Era Two short stories on godless. If that's successful, I'll have two more for Halloween (or a novelette).