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    • Book Trailer August 2022
    • My Lovely Wife
    • Middle Age Rae of Fucking Sunshine
    • Toenails
    • Welcome to New Edge Hill
    • Dark Roast
    • Reptile >
      • Reptile Excerpt
    • Stara >
      • Stara Excerpt
    • Night of the Penguins
    • Broccoli >
      • Broccoli Sample
    • 3 of a Kind
    • Dual Depravity 2
    • Ketamine Addicted Pandas >
      • Ketamine Addicted Pandas Excerpt
    • Crackhouse in the Desert
    • 56 Seconds
    • fun facts for selected 2018 releases
    • Sparky the Spunky Robot
    • Becoming >
      • Strip/Becoming Selection
    • Stef and Tucker >
      • Dancin' With Ice Zombies
      • Jordan
      • The Flowering Penises
      • Secret
      • Mile High
      • Anal Exorcism
    • Ghetto Super Skank >
      • Ghetto Super Skank Excerpt
    • Karen and the Crabs From Outer Space
    • The Midnight Pumpkin Fucker >
      • A Selection From the Midnight Pumpkin Fucker
    • The Scratching Post >
      • Call Me Hoop
    • The Snow Queen
    • Name Dropping with Hayden >
      • Name Dropping With Hayden Excerpt
    • Tainted 07/The Human Connection
    • Sex God >
      • Ultimate Pleasure Machine
    • Chester and Lester's Christmas in July Special
    • 30-50 Feral Hogs Versus The Big Bad Unicorn
    • The Dog Dies at the End
    • Satan's Yeast Infection
    • Satan's Yeast Infection 2: Butt Weasel's Revenge
    • 50 Shades of Gnome >
      • 50 Shades of Gnome Excerpt
    • All Saints Day
    • There Aren't Any Dogs This Christmas
    • Theatrum Mortuum
    • Drip
    • A Terrible Case of Dick Rot
    • Very Romantic. Very Necro.
    • The World Is Filled With Ghosts Now
    • Crowfield
  • About
  • Contact
  • The Queen of Everything
    • Queen of Filth's Extreme Horror
    • Queen of Filth's Disgusting Books
    • Bizarro >
      • Bizarro Incoming
    • Queen of Trash
    • Erotica
    • Short Stories >
      • Short Stories
    • The First of the Month
  • Coming Soon
  • Random Musings
  • Video
    • Video blog
    • Story Time
  • Visual Art
    • Redbubble Products >
      • Art Blog
    • Sea Monster (non-medieval) drawing
    • Penis is a Hat
    • Bloated Dragons
    • Dog Commission 1
  • Era Two
    • Donnie Couldn't See the Rotten Angel Wings
    • The Forest of the Dead
    • A note on 56 Seconds
  • Chester and Lester
    • Chester's Cloudy Ice
    • Lester's Halloween Special
  • Cut-up Project 2022/23
    • Idea and Argument Part One
    • Additional Text
    • Some Inspirational Quotes
    • Nearly Time
    • The Machines Are Sick Practice Cut Up
  • Seth
  • The Panda Says No!
    • Teaser of part one text
  • Censorship Guide
    • Censorship Words
  • Interviews and Press 2024 Onwards
    • The Interviews
  • Pictures and press
  • Q&A
    • The Scratching Post
  • No One Ever Means Duck: A Creative's Guide to AI
    • So Many Ducks To Worry About
DANI BROWN

Welcome to new edge hill

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Published 08 November 2015 by Morbidbooks

​"My moustache twitched in an effort to escape the confines of a bucket of cream, hair ointment and the extensions I had put in last week. It wanted to compete with Teddy’s natural face locks and show that it, too, could stand proud.

The hair on my arms had only run of the mill body lotion to keep it in place, which in the unexplained circumstances I found myself in with Teddy Dick that late summer morning, was of complete uselessness. It stood up on end.
I looked over at Teddy. The desire to see a facial hair out of place, snap a picture and post it online was too strong to resist. But his face hair was perfect, as always, leaving my heart to sink and ponder what I must look like (I refused to confirm my suspicions by looking in the mirror). The hair on his arm closest to me was in a state similar to my own. At least not everything about him was perfect. It was confusing that someone could be so perfect and yet, still be such a dickhead."
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