I seldom speak up. It isn't like anyone listens to me anyways. And when they are, it is typically to be a trolling douchebag (had a few of those over recent weeks on social media). 

When I do speak up it is about one of three things:

1. trigger warnings 
2. trans rights (there aren't words to express how much I hate terfs and their male right wing equivalent - but that's a post for a different day and there will be copious use of the word 'nonce' in regards to transphobes, like these creeps are super-nonces and in the USA are trying to have their nonce tendencies written into legislation in some states) 
3. reading too much into fiction and art in general, which is what this post is about. 

But I honestly don't see anyone in indie horror liking what I have to say about this. Why? Because I've been speaking out about it since before my first book was published in 2014. And at this stage, I'm fucking pissed off and fed up and C. Derick Miller should still be driving the goddamn train at Six Flags and maybe he would be if the indie community weren't so engrossed in a massive fucking brown nosing circle jerk. Obviously, everyone in the community isn't involved in this massive fucking circle jerk, but it is enough and it is the people that shout the loudest and seem to have the most drama surrounding them. Therefore, they get the most attention. 

Instead of people listening to me, I get told that I should wear a sweatshirt instead of what I like to wear, I get asked why I get my nails done if I'm not interested in dating, same with my hair. These people sound like my father. One of the things I was really looking forward to when I was growing up was becoming an adult so I could wear whatever the fuck I wanted because it brings me joy and happiness (seriously, being forcibly made to dress like a teenage boy is depressing and identity erasing). If you are too busy judging someone based on what they're wearing, you have some seriously questionable personality traits. And seriously, saying I want "it" based on what I'm wearing is fucking rapey and that is part of the problem (and I strongly suspect that people who say those things commit sex crimes because it is so goddamn objectifying). My clothing and makeup choices should only be important to me because I'm the one wearing it. 

So, what have I been saying since before My Lovely Wife was published? 

I've been saying that artists, writers, film makers, musicians are not what they create. 

When I was in university getting my Creative Writing degree I was lured into a false sense of security. I felt safe creating. I was encouraged to create characters based on someone entirely different from who I am (I had been a very private person but a bad relationship later, I now speak up). And I did. I created this. This manwhore of a character. As I don't have a dick and don't sleep around, I never thought, not once in my life that people would project that character's traits onto me as if I could magically grow a dick and change my sexual habits.

But people, very much in the plural sense, did. 

And this included one who also had a creative writing degree from a different university. On this course, the students were taught that writers only ever write who they are. I won't go into details about how that turned out for me, but it was most unpleasant despite my "no's" and despite me pointing out that if what this person were taught on their course was true, I would have a dick. So, not even logic gets through to these people. 

And this course, and many like it are still running. They're still churning out students that think Stephen King lives in the sewers, dragons exist as do ice zombies, Middle Earth is real, etc. etc. And you can bet that people who can't think for themselves and apply logical are taking them and being awarded degrees and now think that they know everything about creative writing and why writers write. These aren't the sort of people that know how to listen and treat others with respect at any rate. 

Add to that an army of teachers, social workers and police officers (I really thought police officers knew better, but I've heard a lot of stories about them over the last few years, not related to their sex crimes and domestic violence - just open a random English newspaper). Teachers and social workers seem to be the absolute worst for projecting art onto the artist though. Teachers, who have power over the next generation. And don't get me started on social workers. 

So, now we have wannabes that go around, some even publish a book or have a song produced, etc and harass authors at conventions (yes, that has happened to me) because if they're writing what they are then every single other creative is creating what they are. And again, these wannabe losers don't listen or respect boundaries. And they start grabbing. And they're encouraged to do so by what they've been taught by teachers, lecturers and social workers. 

And no one does anything. Because look at what she is wearing. Look at what she is writing. And did you hear what her ex said? Whatever he said must be true. He couldn't have possibly made it up (sometimes based on her own stories, but only the ones he would allow her to write, the shallow and violent ones, not the deeper or more experimental ones, because he wasn't taught to write like that so it isn't legitimate).

And no one listens when I speak up and say, hey this happened to me and it isn't acceptable. 

Because if anyone did, I bet C. Derick Miller would still be driving the train at Six Flags. 

Maybe when Marilyn Manson was first accused of his laundry list of crimes against women, a handful of people listened when I would comment on blog posts and social media posts that said, "his music told us who he is" (all it really told us was he needed Trent Reznor's help with his lyrics amongst other things) and point out how dangerous that belief was and what happened to me because of my writing. Really, Marilyn Manson's interviews told us he was immature. But his lyrics and stage show didn't tell us anything about Brian Warner.

And some people did listen to me and started repeating what I was saying. They saw the logic in it. They understood that women get RAPED because of people going around thinking that artists are what they create. 

But then some shiny new thing came along. So while I was writing to former Prime Ministers etc. and trying to do something about this and at least have a disclaimer put on courses that are going to teach people to create from the inside that not everyone does that, these people left. 

And I was alone fighting this fight yet again as a person that no one really listens to. 

Resist Cancel Culture

Now, this awful meme is circulating social media. Why is it awful? Because Cancel Culture means so many different things. It does nothing to highlight what has actually occurred (a man lost his job because of a line in a book).  The same day this happened, at least one creep was outed (it might have been two). That's also Cancel Culture. Telling TERF Wizard to shut up is also Cancel Culture. Tucker Carlson getting the sack and probably even more of a voice is also Cancel Culture (may whatever gods you worship help us with that one, as he's probably going to blow up now). Varg Vickernes being banned from Youtube? Cancel Culture. Some Karen finds something offensive? Cancel Culture. 

I don't typically agree with 'cancelling' things. With the Tucker Carlson example, he's probably going to be bigger and his audience is going to even more hang on his every word and act on them now that he's unrestrained completely. Fox News still had to bend to their advertisers which gagged him a bit. Calling people you don't agree with politically 'stupid' isn't a very good idea either. It pushes them further from the mainstream and right into the arms of extremists. There are so many ways in which Cancel Culture goes wrong and well, it is nearly one in the morning and I would like to wake up at a reasonable hour tomorrow. 

I've been seriously creeped on and would have been raped at a convention if it weren't for the interference of some artist whose name I can't remember and that drives me crazy because I owe him a drink at the very least (I think he said he was from London, but it might have been Manchester, does anyone know who he is, the incident happened in 2018 in Liverpool, the artist, not the creep, I will die a happy person if I never see that creep again).

The creep's reason for creeping on me? A combination of what I was wearing and what I write. (And probably Liverpool. There seems to be an underlying current of beliefs that amount to "objectifying someone is flattering them".) But he didn't state Liverpool. He stated what I was wearing and what I write.

Have you read Reptile? Does anyone want what is in that book in that happening to them? That isn't BDSM. That's a gross exaggeration and cartoonish version of BDSM.  56 Seconds, which actually is pretty sexy in places was still a few weeks away from release when this incident happened. And even with 56 Second, it shouldn't make a difference because even though that book is sexy in places, it isn't who I am as a person (and it would be pretty difficult for me, without a dick, to film myself wanking and send it to someone). 

I did not ask for the creep in question to be cancelled. I asked why his friends allowed him to get to that point? I asked why no one pointed out to him that when a woman says no, it means no and to leave her alone. I asked why people encourage him to behave in such an awful and dehumanising manner towards others? I called out the people that allowed that to happen. Because this isn't happening in isolation. 

Which brings us back to the BIG MEANIES that instead of listening to me, pick on what I'm wearing. Why is no one speaking out when they're doing this. Why is no one saying, hey this isn't acceptable. Do people get withdrawals if there isn't enough drama and dehumanisation in the horror community? 

There are much bigger issues at play here than what someone is wearing. Like putting a stop to artists having their creations projected on them. 

Because it is fucking dangerous. I most recently stated that in public in January. But I've been saying this for years.

​I'm an actual working author. Yes, I have a career and life outside of horror, but I've still been a working author for years and before that I went to university and earned a degree in the subject. I know what I'm talking about. I'm not here for people to pick on and not listen to and talk over. I actually do say things that are important. 

Scroll to the bottom of the page for a video of me ranting about it. 

One of the worst things of the ten years between graduating and the #metoo movement was loosing my old skills from not being allowed to work, or even develop them further. I was allowed to write because a lot of it was done in secret at 5AM and no one noticed until I started having things published. And writing fiction earned me my first content marketing freelance client. 

Obviously, I wanted more from my career (my actual career in advertising and marketing). I can't write content forever. I'll go insane. Since the AI freakout at my current place of employment, I am now obsessed with how google functions and how to get websites to rank (obviously, I don't use this knowledge and these skills on this website, you usually need to follow a link or two to get here). That's besides the point though. 

But in university (and probably as far back as college, when I realised the pieces of shit around me combined with a very shitty system weren't going to let me return to epidemiology), I decided to aim for a career in advertising. This is an area where multiple skills are needed to succeed. And I really wanted to work in print, which is still around. Not the extent it was when I graduated, but there are still print advertising jobs floating about. 

Trouble is, my skills are rusty where they were existent to begin with. I had no digital editing skills, but that's a story for a different day.

My summer plans this year involve refamiliarising myself with Adobe. It is just experimenting at this stage and messing around rather than trying to create something usable. I will look into getting inDesign for this MacBook. I miss InDesign more than any other piece of software. I loved it so much while I was at university. But right now, I'm going to focus on the apps for my iPad. 

Here's where I'm up to...

This giraffe is my Illustrator fail. Given that this is one piece of software (now an app on my iPad) that I never actually learned in the first place, I'm cool with this. Can't wait to see what I can do with it when the leaves start falling from the trees (given that as I write this, they've fully budded but aren't fully out). 

Stara saw a huge increase in sales this week so I thanked everyone using a template from Adobe Express for an Instagram Story. 

You can buy a copy ofStara from amazon. Or if you prefer ebook, it is available on godless for much cheaper. 

PS every book sale matters to me. If you liked it, please review and let any friends you have that might like it know about it. 

Here's another Adobe Express template. I think I used a book cover one and then resized it to fit an Instagram post. Penis Bird prints can be purchased on Redbubble. I will add some new stuff eventually. I'm obviously very busy. 

I've been trying out Fresco. I have another drawing on there right now where I'm following an Internet guide so if you follow my social media, you might see the finished result posted on there before I post it on here. 

I also created this video with a combination of different apps, although not the heavy duty film one that I'm still figuring out. The intro is a bit too long, but I will get something together for my story time videos. Proper editing may take a bit longer though. 

I can mess around with silent drawing and graphic design apps after editing dinner. My son doesn't even seem to complain if I watch a short tutorial, but once the synthesiser apps and film editing come out, he objects. 

I'm still waiting on a final front room repair, but I was able to finish nearly everything. Just a final bit by the window now. This is going to be so nice to come home to. I always wanted to live in a nice house, ever since I was little. 

This is what I started with on Saturday afternoon, other than what I did a few weeks ago. I did want to start Saturday morning, but I overslept and no wonder given how busy I've been lately between the house, job hunting and upskilling (and recovering lost skills).

Unfortunately some of my things broke while they were stored in boxes. This glass dragon usually had a predominant spot in the cabinet. Right now, he's leaning on the side behind wooden giraffes. 

Unfortunately, one of my mother's china horses lost a leg. She collected these her entire life. Sometimes I think, they were the only thing that kept her sanity hanging on by a thread (fuck enablers, if someone had a rough time, you do not, under any circumstances pat them on the back and encourage them to be destructive, you tell them that it is over now and they're safe and you ensure they are safe and don't try to get them involved in another cycle of destruction, nor do you encourage systems, whether social, political or legal that force people who experienced something bad on some checklist designed by insecure, middle class social workers to be destructive and connect with others based on the bad things, that is just plain evil, you should be ashamed of yourselves, no one should have to suffer anymore than they already have, no one should have to sit around in a giant circle jerk of destruction with other destructive people because some insecure idiot decided that was what was best for them). 

It was around this time that I discovered my superglue had dried out. The horse is also leaning against the wall in the cabinet. I'll pick up some superglue or nail glue when I get paid. 

And now for completion. That extra hook is for another Aleistar Crowley drawing that I purchased from Callum Leckie. I need to pick up a frame for it when I get paid. 
And on top of the china cabinet are some books i've written and anthologies I've appeared in. It isn't everything, but that's what I have personal copies of. 

The Alien canvas board is from the same folks who did the cover for Broccoli. That would be Ilan Sheady over at Uncle Frank Productions. 

My child really likes that stereo and it still works and has a tape deck, so it is staying. I don't like relying entirely on streaming for entertainment so I was going to replace it with a much smaller ghetto blaster. We can hook up an old iPhone and stream Apple music (eventually, when the SE turns up as it wasn't in my phone graveyard, I keep telling my son that there is a phone graveyard for a reason and to stop taking things out of it). That is, until the Internet goes down. Then we have CDs for that stereo and I have a record player in my bedroom. Plus we have DVDs, bluerays and books. Just incase.  

And now the book shelf looks as nice as it is going to right now. I left a gap, which will hopefully be big enough to fit the fifth Chorus of Dragons book once I am done with it (it is on my to be read pile). And you can see more of the book shelf on the reels on my social media. 

That's the best picture I can get of the curtains for now. I will dig out the nets to hang up though. The window is the last repair I'm waiting for. There's still a bit of purple at the top, but I'm going to wait for the repair before I have someone come and take down the curtains and then paint it for me (I can't reach and my son can't get the curtains back up, even though he can reach). 

And there's the stereo again. I'm surprised it still works after the plaster crumbling onto it. It took ages to clean. And of course, my Paul Frank Barbie. (I can't wait for the film.) 

And finally, a very upset Jerk Face. He hates change and things moving around. He gets a break next weekend as I can't do anything else until I order my son a new bed and it arrives. Then it'll be taking down his old bed, painting in his room and then assembling his new bed. The weekend following that is likely to see the landing painted and then nothing else major until the room of shame (I am hoping on getting a new TV for the front room in the Black Friday sales this year, new furniture that fits won't be seen to until I see to the room of shame, because I'm hoping to move the books into there where there's yet more books). 

I had a pretty productive weekend. I was off on Thursday (I was meant to take my son to the dentist but this has now been rescheduled, I'm getting pretty fed up with the dentist) and decided to take Friday off as annual leave. Once I had prescription antihistamines and some vertigo medicine, I no longer felt like crap. That has obviously impacted how much I have gotten done over the past few days. 

Next weekend, I'm unlikely to get much of anything done because I will hopefully have the front room signed off on. Hopefully. I have little faith and trust in the housing association, but at any rate, I should be able to put away the contents of the china cabinet. Once that is done, I'm going to need to get into the cupboard under the stairs, so figure I should clean it out and put everything that was put in there with the intention of donating it to charity, in the charity pile. That cupboard is going to be an all day event because it is bad in there. I suppose that's what happens when for years you aren't allowed to live your own life and just put stuff where it was out of sight. 

There definitely won't be a Story Time next weekend. They take long enough to do without editing. The next one I do in a few weeks will have some editing. And I will start editing more of my TikTok posts.

I did purchase an iPad, which will help further my career (in marketing/advertising, what I do when I'm not writing or creating art). I'm still learning how to use it. I must say I hated both Garage Band mobile and Lightroom and now I think I might be in love with both of those. If you saw my latest reel, that had some crappy music that came with whatever app I put it together in. Hopefully by next week, there will be my own sounds on my reels and TikTok posts. I suppose an Apple pencil on a larger screen is much better than my swollen fingers on a small phone screen for these things. I haven't used the mobile version of iMovie yet, but I've been playing around with free trials of Abode apps to decide which of these I'll be getting subscriptions for. So, when I'm not writing, I am creating stuff on my iPad. Over the summer, I'll figure out how to record my circuit bending onto the iPad as that'll be easier than doing it on my laptop. 

I'm still working on putting together my Godless releases for the rest of the year. I'm probably going to use Abode Express to create the covers rather than going freehand in GIMP (or they'll be partially created in Abode Express). Right now, I'm working on Satan's Yeast Infection: Butt Weasel's Revenge, Pig Fucker Returns and my Christmas stories (which will likely be titled Leon). I do have a godless release in May, which is already done and with Drew. I don't want to start thinking about 2024 yet, but there is likely to be Stef and Tucker 6. And Ket Pandas 2 or a spin off. I have other books I'm working on too. 

Speaking of Godless, thank you so much for buying my books and leaving reviews. It really matters to me. Satan's Yeast Infection is still climbing to the top. And surprise movement from Sex God (I might write the other two for 2024, it depends on how the novels I'm working on go). It is really hard for me to tell what is and isn't selling on godless unless there has been a huge jump in places. I don't get a sales ranking or a kindle direct publishing report like I do with amazon. 

And this is your reminder, that if you were after a paperback of Broccoli, it is back up on amazon. I published that through Lulu. Lulu put up their costs so I had to change the price and in order to do so, I had to order a copy of Broccoli (just changing the price, nothing else) and wait for it to arrive, before I could hit publish again. For all of amazon's evils, they don't put you through that to change a price on a fucking book. 

Here's the Princess after she vomited under my bed. She's perfectly fine. This is the cat that holds chewed food in her mouth to spit out on my lap if she doesn't like it or spit out in an inconvenient location if she feels like she hasn't been given enough attention. Although I think she was coughing out a hairball yesterday. And cat owners know the vomit and hairballs and spit up, but if you don't have cats, you may not be familiar with this. There's a difference between a cat being sick because that's what they do and an actual illness. 

And on that thought, I better get back to these stories as there won't be much time for writing next week. And it is uncertain whether there will be the weekend after, with my house and then the King's Coronation (which me and my son intend on watching) plus Eurovision (no, I didn't get tickets, which sucks) coming up. Bring on the beginning of June, when this part of my house should be finished (room of shame is for next year) and exciting or rare cultural events are done.   

Well, I now have an iPad after never really wanting one. However, I thought it might be useful in helping to get me a new job and improve my skills. I have the free trials of various bits of Adobe including Photoshop, Express and Illustrator. Prior to the iPad arriving I took some photos for me to play around with after work this week. I thought people would be interested in seeing the originals. You can follow me manipulating them on my social media.

I won't be putting any of these up on Deviant Art until I'm actually good at it (although years of taking one selfie per day to keep the creeps away does mean I'm already better at it now than I was in college and university) but following my regular social media - mainly instagram and facebook will bring up what I do to them after work each day (or most days, I get tired). 

So far, I am loving Photoshop Express and Lightroom (I couldn't use this one on my phone so hated it but put it on the iPad because I heard it is good, took me five minutes to sort out one of these pictures) but not Photoshop itself. I think GIMP is the closest I'm going to get to old Photoshop (like what is on my old G3). Illustrator has proven interesting so far. 

Unfortunately, it looks like in order to have Lightroom and other programmes that come with Photoshop, I'm going to have to pay for subscription Photoshop. I'll give Photoshop more chances over the week though. It did take me awhile to learn how to use it on the desktop all those years ago. 

The other day when my son's dentist appointment was cancelled, I managed to get the last available appointment at the GP. My intention was to get anti-histamines because the over the counter ones aren't working and *might* have been making feel crappy (it has since been confirmed they were making me feel crappy and not the stress). 

My main complaint was vertigo. I seem to get it much worse than usual every spring. Just walking makes me feel like I had a spot too much to drink with the room spinning. Whenever I've gone to the GP in the past with the same complaint, I just get palmed off saying it is stress (and it is no secret that I'm under some stress right now). 

I wasn't expecting anything different. This time, I was told I likely had a viral infection and was dismissing feeling unwell as stress because that's all I've been told in the past (and then not allowed to handle whatever was causing the stress so I ended up very sick from stress in the past). I was given medication for the vertigo, in addition to the anti-histamines I went in for. 

The difference between how I felt on Thursday when I went to the GP and Friday after taking prescription anti-histamine and the vertigo medication was amazing. I felt like a completely different person. 

Then being told that I'm dealing with the stress in an appropriate manner. I already knew that, but with the amount of people who had been in my life who wouldn't let me deal with my problems, it still feels nice to hear it. Plus there's destructive people about within the horror community who project that outwards (and in Liverpool) and think that if someone is stressed or having problems, that because they handle it in a destructive manner (drinking, taking drugs, sex, etc.) that everyone does that. I'm hardly crying myself to sleep each night because I'm dealing with the source of the stress and not burying it or worrying about it. 

I like this having access to medical treatment. It is way better than home remedies and the black market. I don't want this to go away for any reason. I don't want the NHS to collapse and I sure as Hell don't want to go back to a system like it was in the past where I was continuously denied medical care. 

 I didn't take any photographs to illustrate this post, but I'm going to have to start taking pictures again. I used to take a lot of photographs to try and build those skills in secret. I don't have to do that in secret anymore (thankfully). But companies are asking for photography and videography skills. I already detailed what I'm doing in terms of videography (a few stories have been sent in, I should be able to post one Story Time video next week, even if the housing association sort out what they were meant to sort out three weeks ago). 

Luckily, I spent a few years taking selfies to keep the creeps away (it was to stop the in person creeps and creepettes from targeting me, not to stop online creeps as obviously posting selfies attracts more of them and in all honestly some creep living in his mother's basement is not a threat to my safety, the people in person, however, are). Those really helped my photography skills. Then I started adding filters and messing around with the digital darkrooms. As the selfies had the effect I was going for (for the most part, I still get nasty messages from people connected to my ex and I'm not sure if there's been a data breach or if one of these losers who can't handle the word "no" is still pissed off that I snapped at his persistence, but I keep getting emails saying I signed up for adult sites). But for the most part, all but the most persistent of local area creeps have stopped and I get left alone. Unfortunately, the remaining ones are absolutely terrifying. 

But I won't be doing the selfie thing again. It served its purpose. I will start photographing random, more interesting bits of litter again (like old cassettes). But for the most part, I will arrange toys in a scene. When I was sorting through my son's room the other day, I saved dinosaurs and Playmobile figures from going into the charity donation pile or the loft containers. If I get a decent size royalty payment I'll pick up a Sylvanian Families Playset from Home Bargains (if they have any). I'll just have some fun with it. And I might post some of these pictures on social media or deviant art. 

I'm not sure of the laws (mainly copyright) regarding selling cards and prints with branded products in them, but non-branded things, if there's a call for it, I can put them up on my Redbubble. As this is a skill building exercise and not a project, I won't be looking into and trying to make sense of the relevant copyright laws and then trying to get permission from the companies to use their products in for-profit prints. I obviously have better things to do, so you'll just have to make due with non-branded products in prints. 

At the interview I had for a job I would really like (even though the skill set needed is a bit different from what was advertised), I was told photographs taken on my phone are fine. When I finished university, I did want a proper camera setup, but I think with how powerful mobile phone cameras have become these days, using mine and then adjusting things afterwards (rather than adjusting the camera) will be fine. Even the i-Phone camera is pretty decent (and maybe the settings can be manually adjust before taking a photograph, in all the years of using an i-Phone, that has never come up). 

In other job related news, apparently my CV is pretty impressive. That's good considering my age and current skill level and being a single mother and not being allowed to work in the field in which I'm qualified to work in for ten really long and horrible years (people are fucking cunts, the system was set up and run by insecure cunts, I hope they actually seek treatment for their insecurities so they don't take out on people in their personal lives - mainly their children). I really focused on redeveloping lost skills from 2018 onwards, with things speeding up when social media kindly bought me my last MacBook and then some more during the lockdowns (peace at last). I need to hone some of those skills now and redevelop ones that were neglected (and even develop skills I never had the chance to develop in the first place). 

In terms of this Bank Holiday Weekend, I did a lot. It doesn't seem like it though. I did a lot in the house, particularly with cleaning. But there's still more to do: the person who was going to help me get things into the loft came down with COVID, so once he recovers, he'll come help; still waiting on the window and skirting board from the housing association so I can put the contents of the china cabinet away, then I have to buy my son a new bed and mattress before we can have his bed dismantled and then paint in there, followed by the landing. The room of shame is definitely waiting until next year. I am hoping to purchase a new TV in the Black Friday sales this year, but new front room furniture that fits a bit better will be done with the room of shame so we can hopefully move some things (mainly books) into the room of shame. 

​I have been working on getting together my Godless releases for the rest of the year. Pig Fucker will be returning from the dead in time for Halloween. And I am working on a second Satan's Yeast Infection as the first one has proved so popular (plus Marmite is still available and Marmite infused products are still kicking other products off supermarket shelves).  Then, of course, there's my Christmas stories. All three Leon stories will be found together in one ebook. The Dog Dies at the End is still going strong on godless despite it being April (thank you). The Leon stories were written one after the other, whereas the only thing that connects the two stories in The Dog Dies at the End is the dog dies. 

What is going on with my house and how many job applications I need to fill in (some of these are brutal) plus when I actually get a new job, notice period, etc will determine how many posts I make and how much skill building I have the time to share  over the upcoming weeks, plus whether or not I do a Story Time. As I said over on the Story Time blog, things are a bit up in the air right now. Hoping they'll calm down soon so I can settle into a routine. I will get back to my AI postings once I have a routine too. I might move them to a different site so you can see demonstrations etc and have a lot of fun with it. But I just don't have the time today to hit up Semrush for some keywords, write a post and get the AI generator to spit out something with those same keywords. Plus there's been some AI developments. The one I'm most concerned about (for selfish reasons, I don't have the time to go into morals, ethics and the law in this blog post) is that the image generators learned how to spit out hands that look like hands. I have a short story due for release in June that has a main theme of AI not being capable of generating hands (plus I love the AI hand pictures, they are creepy and weird, I was even working on a visual project based on AI hands).  

Thank you so much for picking up my books. I haven't been keeping track of sales this past week with everything going on. Don't forget, 56 Seconds is back in paperback. I will fix the hardback once things are settled and my house is as sorted as it is going to get this side of winter (it'll seriously only be a new smart TV in November, if I can afford one and work on the room of shame and new downstairs furniture won't start until the sometime in the New Year). 

And before anyone comes along and tells me how to handle the work related stress, I am handling it. I have been under legal advice since mid-2018 with medical advice following later that year to not tolerate that behaviour. I also have a ton of medical advice from people with actual medical degrees in how to deal with it until I can escape from the person causing the problem. I'm going to listen to those people and not some rando from the internet who doesn't have their own life in order. The advice I was given works. It may take a few days to kick in, as things concerning stress often do (drinking or taking drugs into oblivion or trashing things or self-sabotage are not sensible ways of handling stress or the blows that life sometimes deals and all they do is create more problems). 

Have a great week! Only two days of work for me thanks to the Bank Holiday and my son having a dentist appointment on Thursday (seemed pointless to go in on Friday as the dentist can be a whole day affair considering they are never on time so I couldn't take it as a half day). 

I know I keep saying I'm going to post my reviews. I haven't had the chance yet, but I will try to do so over the Bank Holiday Weekend. However, Tecnicinismo over on TikTok have reviewed Stara. And this is very exciting. This is a huge booktok account for splatterpunk books. If you speak Spanish check out the tiktok review. If not, here's what he left on goodreads...

You can purchase Stara on godless or on amazon. I don't typically do trigger warnings, but I will advise that if you have recently been pregnant to wait a few months for your hormones to settle back down before reading this one. It is literally what would happen if Elisabet Bathory was a midwife. You'll like the book a lot more if you wait a few months. 

As I said, I will try to get up my reviews over the weekend. I think they're mainly for Name Dropping With Hayden, which if you recall, had a huge increase in sales a few months back. 

A few year's back I used to always enter Crystal Lake's Flash Fiction Contest. My stories would sometimes make it into the finals (I think it was about 50% acceptance rate) and I won once. 

I did decide, especially as I'm less focused on self-publishing than I was, to enter this month. My story is into the finals, it is called Peek-A-Boo and it features two new characters from the novel I've been working on while I deal with the work-related stress which is making it difficult to clean up We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams into something that is publishable. You can read and vote for the stories on Crystal Lake Publishing's Patreon. 

Although I am less focused on self-publishing this year, I do need to sort out my godless releases for the rest of the year over the upcoming weeks. And even if I secure a new job, I still need to hand in my notice and get settled, so it makes more sense to finish what I'm doing now before returning to We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams and Snow White (I'm still undecided about how I will publish Snow White, lots of different options, but plenty of time to decide). So, I may or may not enter more of the Shallow Waters competitions over the upcoming months. 

Rats Scratch at the Linen Cupboard was my first entry into the contest. And A Table Set for One (which if I recall correctly, neither me or Joe particularly liked) won. I decided A Table Set for One wasn't so bad after that. 

If you've been following on Facebook, you've seen these already, but here's where I'm up to on the house. 

This is where it started last weekend. I still have about 1/4 of the first bucket of magnolia plus the unopened bucket left. I'm still waiting on the housing association to sort out the window so a lot of magnolia will be going around the window area. Then in a few weeks I'll be buying my child a new bed. Once that one is up and the other one has come down the stairs, I need to paint the landing (magnolia). I'm glad I bought two buckets. I wasn't sure if one would be enough. Turns out, it isn't, especially when painting over wet plaster (water down the first layer of paint if you want to go over wet or damp plaster). 

Unfortunately, despite my phone calls, the housing association haven't sorted out that skirting board yet. That means I can't unpack all my things until they do so. 

Here's starting to unpack when most of the painting was done (the wet plaster wall still needed another coat). 

The curtains came from the Olio app during the pandemic. I couldn't reach to change them so the plasterer put them up for me. As you can see from Jerk Face's happy little destructive face, I can't spend money on curtains in rooms he goes into. That means only my son will be getting new curtains. The rest of the curtains come from freecycle networks. I basically picked the paint for the boarded up fireplace based on curtains I got for free so it can match. Hopefully he won't ruin these ones though. I like these ones. They're way better than the old ones. 

Here's where we're up to now. We're going to have to live with the boxes until the housing association put the skirting board back on. They were meant to do that and the window weeks ago. I even have a little card with the date they said they were coming. I spoke to the inspector that day who wanted to come out and asked where the last three people were. He didn't know. And he didn't come out to do the inspection either. Scaffolding is gone from the front of my house and the gutter has been repaired in that time, so I don't think they forgot about me or their computer lost me. I'll have to phone up again next week if I don't hear back. 

The boxes are the contents of the china cabinet. I'm really looking forward to the house being sorted. It is looking much, much better than it was. The cats are upset by all the upheaval though. 

And this is the state of my son's room. Everything is either ready to go into the loft for when he hits his mid-20s and wants his toys again (they're uncool now he's in his teens). And what isn't being kept is ready to go to charity. Someone is coming tomorrow to help me get everything into the loft. I don't know if the work stress or the hayfever is making my vertigo worse, but I can't get anything up there myself. 

The room only had two bags of rubbish though. I have some stain block to spray on the water damage and there's some paint for the ceiling as well as the walls. He's pretty excited that the roof has finally been fixed. He gets to have a proper bedroom for the first time in years. They'd come out and do a repair and say it isn't going to last but the housing association never carried out the repair they were meant to (I'm concerned that is going to happen with the last few bits in the front room as they obviously have a history of not fixing things fully). 

It is still only Friday, so I should be able to get some writing done this weekend and maybe some drawing (plus there's a job application I want to fill in). There won't be a Story Time this weekend, but I'm hoping to get one done next week.

Unless the housing association can fix everything next week (as they were meant to do weeks ago), I should have next weekend free. If by some miracle the housing association fix everything, I probably still will be able to do a Story Time as it won't take too much time to paint around the window and put away the contents of the china cabinet. And I have two days of annual leave next week, which makes getting things done easier. Obviously in a few weeks, it is going to be my son's bedroom one weekend and the landing the following so my postings will be become irregular again. Then, hopefully, my videos will have some decent lights and editing with backgrounds to follow.