I still have one short story to write. I do have time though. I want the perfect short like with Theatrum Mortuum.

I've been dividing my writing time with extreme before work and bizarro at the weekend. Everything except that one short story are much longer than what I've been writing these last few years, so releases are going to slow down even further. That doesn't mean I'm depressed or need help or whatever. I'm simply working on longer stuff. I'm also looking at publishers as there's just no feasible way to self publish the bulk of my output anymore. I will still be self publishing one or two releases every year. 

However, I won't be working on the first of these half-finished bizarro novels or looking at publishers today. Today I have to get started in the garden. Then I have to mop the floors because there wasn't any point in doing it first. Then it'll be time to cook dinner and after that I'm probably going to want to rest.

Unfortunately the weekend is only two days long. You can follow my progress on my facebook profile. I'll try to at least blog once per month this year, even if it is a quick, I'm still alive and still working on the first of these half finished novels. 

I don't know how I kept going, especially these last few weeks because I've been going nearly non-stop since August. I am tired and cranky, but I get to have some rest now. If you follow my social media, particularly Facebook, you would have seen how busy I've been.

I did complete the first part of the dinning room. I will sort out new furniture in the New Year. Also when I moved the bookshelf out of the front room and moved the stuff against the wall, I discovered where the new wall was damp after the housing association plastered over really wet brick without giving it time to air out had stained, so I will need to purchase some stain block and anti-fungal paint and redo that wall, which will also wait until the New Year. I'm probably going to get started in the garden before I sort out furniture or that wall. 

I hadn't managed to post my Christmas story for this year in 'Coming Soon', but it is listed under books - The World Is Filled With Ghosts Now. That's just to give you an idea of how busy I've been, probably more so than other years because I usually manage to keep that 'Coming Soon' section up to date. 

I still have two short stories to finish off before I can return to my longer books. And the story I was going to release for the Godless anniversary in March isn't extreme enough (I can see my sales on there and the extreme stuff does much better than anything else), so I'm probably going to write another one and see about publishing the folk horror type story elsewhere. 

In terms of the longer books I'm working on, I intend on self publishing at least one of them. I'm undecided about the others. Self publishing is obviously a lot of work and I can't publish everything myself. 

I am going to sit around in my pyjamas and try to finish off one of these stories now. The other is going to wait until after Christmas, once I've had a rest and the house is clean. I'm not cleaning today. We're even having a ready meal for tea. 

​If I don't get to post on here before I return to work on the 6th of January, I hope everyone has a safe and stress free holiday time. 

I have not forgotten the website. Obviously, I have done a page where there's a list of signed books you can buy. This was put up recently. I also intend on keeping the self published books in stock. 

I've been insanely busy and I keep getting colds, so I have been trying to rest as much as possible. The weekend is only two days long. And I have a few short stories to write before I can return to my longer projects. Probably for the best right now, with the dining room being half done. 

Currently waiting for the bulk waste removal to collect the old table, book shelf, an old TV and a few small appliances that no longer work. Once that is done, I can shampoo the rug and paint in there. Once that is done, I'll be focusing on the garden. It was always the intention to clean it up over this coming winter, but given that the Prime Minister wants to ban smoking and vaping in beer gardens, I'm full out redoing it. I'll just have a beer garden in my garden. Although I don't like beer, but I'm sure some of my friends do. 

Then there's the daily shit that goes wrong. I'm currently waiting for an amazon delivery with a new shower curtain. Although that has needed replacing for awhile now. 

And the shoe rack I keep my clothes on has finally collapsed. I do have a main wardrobe, but keeping some clothes out of it allows me to see everything. I wore floor clothes for two weeks and had to put up a new one. I couldn't find a shoe rack, so I have a similar thing but a wardrobe style storage. It is still light enough that if my back goes out and I end up pulling it down on myself, I won't be badly injured. 

There's my pile of bedding and clothing. All of this did fit onto that old shoe rack. 

It was fiddly and took me at least an hour to put up. 

There's the cats helping. Jerk Face is hiding in the shadows on the bottom shelf. This is probably how the shoe rack broke. 

Finally finished. But then I needed to put the clean sheets on the bed before I could go to bed. I ended up crawling into bed around 4 in the morning. Then my hot water bottle broke, so I had to sort that out (that involves throwing the old one in the bath and grabbing a new one). 

And of course, it is spooky season, so every smaller horror creator is competing with each other for attention leading to sales on social media. I can't wait until Christmas. I get two entire weeks off work. I plan on reading and watching TV and getting lots of sleep. 

I'm not really sure what the first order of business is.

I guess about Texas Author Con, which is next weekend. I can't be there in person, but I will have representation. And you will have the opportunity to purchase a signed book plate and a copy of one of my books (as seen in the picture below). I've had a few messages from UK people asking for signed books. I haven't ordered any yet. I will order a few when I can. In the meantime, for £3, I will send you a signed and stamped Queen of Filth sticker (this price applies to the UK only because it includes postage, if someone messages me from outside of the UK, I will recalculate accordingly). 

I know Texas is fucking massive (I've never worked out how many times Britain would fit into it) but if you are in that area, please go check it. Pick up some books and hopefully, I will see you in Texas within the next few years (things are getting better for me, although I'm not sure how much fight I have left in me if this new Labour government prove to be the same as the previous Labour government or Pig Fucker's Tory government, if you follow my social media, you probably realise how worn down I am from those ten years following university when I had to fight to do anything other than what I was told and wasn't allowed to work except in secret at 5 in the morning). 

Next order of business below the picture...

I don't usually make many book sales during the summer months. Things typically dwindle from mid-May and then start trickling back up from mid-August.
And before the toxic positivity people come out, knowing and accepting I don't have great sales in the summer is not being negative. It allows me to focus on other things rather than worrying about marketing books that won't sell and then getting upset that my marketing efforts aren't working. 

However, I've had a lot of messages looking for Broccoli. The book you want to read if you want something told entirely in second person that is disgusting for the sake of being disgusting. 

Amazon are being their typical cunts about it. One message said that a paperback of Broccoli wouldn't be with the reader until January! The best places to buy Broccoli are:

• Lulu (you can sometimes find discount codes on google) for the paperback.
• And godless for the ebook (although amazon works perfectly well to buy the ebook of Broccoli). 

And finally, below the picture, a bit of information about what I'm working on plus a delay to the Quicksand story.

I am working on four books. They are all longer than anything I've written over the past few years and they all require more research than usual.

• This includes the Quicksand story I've been working on. I know people are excited about this one. I did plan on a late August release for it, but it'll be rushed and not as good if I release it late August this year, so I'll release it late August next year. I'll probably finish it sometime over the winter, but it is very much a late summer release. 
• We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams. This is a rewrite that I intended on doing last year, but last year's problems took my full attention (you are welcome to sift through this blog for 2023 and read about them, I can't be bothered to find the exact posts and link). It is an Era Two story, like 56 Seconds and Strip/Becoming. (Please note, the Eras thing goes back to 2018, as far as I'm aware, Taylor Swift was not using it back then and I don't care if she was). I know this is one that people have been waiting for since like 2019. I've decided to opt for self publishing for this one and it should be ready for release sometime in 2025. It does have different characters to 56 Seconds and Strip/Becoming. It mainly focuses on Faded Star (an aging pop singer) and Gloria the Tentacle Queen (old time party girl and failed Angel of Death). Some of my short stories have included Faded Star. I doubt Marcy is going to make an appearance. 
• My Halloween story (The Daisies That Open At Midnight, although if that title won't fit on the cover, it'll be retitled Crowfield). This one is very bizarro and weird. This will be my next release, hitting godless in October and amazon in November. 
• Something really fucking extreme. I don't want to give any details away right now, but I'm hoping this will be done in time for the godless anniversary in March. But I may release We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams in March and save this one for Halloween. We'll see what I want to work on after I finish my Halloween story. 
• A collaboration I'm not going to discuss right now until we have more words on paper rather than an outline. That one will be released through a publisher. 

The Stef and Tucker 6 amazon release will happen late next month. I'll also do a run through of books and stories that had a summer release in previous years sometime next month. I will also be starting my dinning room in about two weeks. I can't wait until that's finished. Then I'll start the garden in January/February (money and weather dependent). 

I'm obviously very busy, but the releases are going to slow down. At least for now. I'm likely to continue self-publishing for the foreseeable future (minus the collaboration). If you follow the indie horror community on social media at all, you'll know why. I'm glad I learned how to self publish during the pandemic (I already knew the business behind it, but not the physical how to actually make a book). I'm also working on my portfolio, which involves a lot of swearing at Illustrator right now. And I'm slowly making my way through House of Leaves (I totally recommend you read it). 

The rest of the books I have planned to write this year are a bit longer than the books from the first half of the year, but here's a quick refresher (I think these are only on godless as I haven't hit publish on Stef and Tucker 6 on amazon yet):

• Theatrum Mortuum
  
• Drip
• A Terrible Case of Dick Rot
• Stef and Tucker 6: Anal Exorcism. 

Please note I did have a lot of short stories released this year. As what I'm writing now is longer, that will slow down the release schedule for 2025 and I'm still not sure if I want to send any of these on slush piles or find an agent. In addition to that, I've been working on learning Adobe Illustrator, which is as frustrating as it sounds and there has been some sketching but not much. 

And it is summer. So finally have a bit of time to start turning the dinning room into something functional. I have to purchase some plastic storage containers before I can dismantle the furniture (all of which is being replaced), paint the walls (still have paint left over from last year), rent a carpet shampooer (I'm looking forward to that part - less the renting and cleaning and more getting rid of the scent of cat pee), then purchase and assemble new furniture (this bit will be done in stages because although my situation is improving, not being allowed to work for ten years has taken a pretty intense toll). Once the dinning room is sorted out, I intend on sorting out the garden so me and my son can have a nice outside space with tables, chairs and a BBQ to enjoy next summer. 

I hope everyone has a nice summer if I don't get around to updating things over here for the duration of it (I am busy). And please check out this video review for Ketamine Addicted Pandas because it is the best thing ever. 

Since my last update, an election has been called. Personally, I think Cthulhu would be a better option than the current offerings by the political parties. Less evil too. When the mainstream parties are as dreadful as ours currently are (it doesn't have to be that way, both Labour and the Tories have proven they don't have complete pig fucking idiots among their ranks), the fringe parties gain and somehow, our fringe parties are even worse. 

Anyways, I'm obviously pretty damn busy. You can follow any of my social media accounts, but it is the facebook profile that gets the most updates and scheduled posts etc. The posts sometimes cross post to Threads or Instagram. 

​A few website updates:

I will have representation at Texas Author Con this year. I can't physically go and it will be a long time before I can go to international conventions, but you'll be able to pick up a copy of one of my books and get a book plate, or you can purchase book plates individually. 

And Stef and Tucker 6 is out on godless now. The amazon release is up and ready, I just haven't hit publish yet. So if you want a paperback, message or email and I will hit publish. Otherwise, I'll press the publish button in mid-August (my book sales in June and July have always been shitty, so when it can be avoided, I don't publish in these months. But I had a shitty weekend a few months ago and when your schedule is as tight as mine, one shitty weekend can completely upend things. 

I am going to get back to turning my quicksand story notes into something with a coherent narrative. These next possibly three books will be longer than the ones released so far this year. I say possibly three because I may find a publisher to take on the second one instead of me self-releasing. It is long, it is very extreme and it goes very deep and it just might be better to release through a publisher (if I can find the right one, the story itself is very British and it makes no apologies for that, just as I make no apologies for not being fucking American). 

I am so looking forward to getting back to We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams and all the writing and art I planned on doing last year. Plus in a few weeks, me and my son are going to start sorting out the dinning room (I'll start the garden in January when everything is dead). I can't wait for that to be finished. I've lived in shitty houses for most of my life, so having somewhere nice is really making an improvement (and it was one of those things I was looking forward to after university). 

I'll post again when I have a chance. Regular postings will pick up again once the dinning room is sorted and my writing is caught up. 

There isn't really much to update, except I've had another interview, still waiting to hear back about a short story and the hayfever combined with side effects from taking antihistamines is really unpleasant (at points, I haven't been functional, hoping to get prescription antihistamines this week as less side effects and might work better). 

• I still don't have a date for Satan's Yeast Infection 3. It will be next month sometime. 
• I currently have Stef and Tucker 6 on the laptop. Hoping for a June release for that one. 
• In the notebook, I have the quicksand story I promised after becoming really frustrated with Americans thinking the entire world is just like their tiny section of the USA (and that is one fucking huge country so it isn't like it has the same climate and beaches throughout anyways). It is currently titled The Tourists. And obviously the quicksand in it stops behaving like normal quicksand and the more time I spend on social media, the more annoyed I get with a certain nationality (ranging from that's kinda harmless but really fucking offensive to are you seriously trying to start a war and your beliefs are actively hurting the rest of us so stop fucking inflicting them on us unless you want to start paying the cost of the damage), so I haven't been on social media all that much (I lived over there so I know how they rewrite history and what their news is like, but with social media, which they didn't invent, but did do a lot towards its development, they have access to the outside world so there really isn't an excuse to be doing that). Hopefully after the USA election, they'll calm down, not insult the fact that Britain still has milk delivery, etc. I didn't do so well coping with this behaviour when I lived over there but until the past few months or so, I didn't have to deal with it unless I was physically there. So best I avoid it and focus on my own life. Although let us not forget that an election has to be called over here this year. 
• Then after that one, I have something that is very extreme, very horrible and very in your face. 
• Followed by my halloween story. 
• Then formatting the Christmas story (I can't remember what happened to the dog). 
• Then I'm free. I'll get back to what I had intended on doing last year, redo my dinning room and I have a collaboration in the works. 

Thank you so much for voting for Ketamine Addicted Pandas in the preliminary round of the Books of Horror Indie Brawl 2024. It got a lot of votes but didn't make it to the next round. And let's face it, something titled Ketamine Addicted Pandas wasn't about to win anything. I hope those who picked up the book enjoy it as much as something like that can be enjoyed. Good luck to those who made the final 32. 
You can purchase it from:

• Godless
• Amazon.  

While the Books of Horror Indie Brawl intentions were heating up, one of the splatterpunk Facebook groups hosted their own brawl. I entered Strip/Becoming and that made it to the second round. Thank you so much for voting for my book, but it went out in that round (along with some of my favourite books). 
You can purchase Strip/Becoming from:

• Godless
• Amazon. 

And while all of this was going on, An Unfortunate Case of Dick Rot stayed in the godless top ten for the entire four weeks it was eligible. Thank you so much for picking up this little rotten, maggot filled story. It can't really be talked about on social media for obvious reasons. 
​To purchase your copy, head to godless and find it here. 
It is hard to believe that godless is three years old and I've been there since the beginning. To purchase my first two godless releases:

• Stara
• Ghetto Super Skank. 

I was on godless within the first first weeks of launch and I thought Stara would do better given it is extreme, but people loved the bizarro fiction of Ghetto Super Skank, even with the terrible cover. (if you want paperbacks, both are available on amazon). I am working on a third cover for Ghetto Super Skank. I will eventually get one that I really like. 

I obviously just want to finish the fucking story I was writing now. I did have a lot of little things to update on here this week, including a landing page for A Terrible Case of Dick Rot. 
So here you go (as it is easier to just post one link on social media):

• A Terrible Case of Dick Rot.
• Non-Fiction.
• Short story: The House of Tomorrow
• Interviews landing page.
• Interview blog link.
• This weeks blog. Vote British Bizarro in the Books of Horror Indie Brawl. 

I just want to finish my story now. Then I have another short one (flash) then I can finally finish Satan's Yeast Infection 3, Stef and Tucker 6 and my godless releases for the rest of the year (finally going to finish #girlboss and a new one about quicksand, plus my halloween story, which in note form is very fucking creepy so hopefully it'll stay that way). Then I get to work on my larger projects and hopefully redecorate the dinning room. 

​There probably won't be any updates for a few weeks now. I'm clearly very busy plus I don't think I have anything else releasing until I finish Satan's Yeast Infection 3. 

The first brawl sets have been announced. 

• Duncan is up with Cannibal Nuns from Outer Space on 01 April 2024. 
• And I'm up with Ketamine Addicted Pandas on 04 April 2024. 

I would say pray for us. But you can do better than that by voting for us. Vote British Bizarro! Get us through this first round, otherwise we'll grow extra fingers like an AI generated image.