I thought as I intend on going through a publisher with this and won't get to put my usual warnings on the copyright page, I would start talking about how I'm writing it. 

I had started We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams way back when I was a freelancer. Despite what some of my relatives may think (along with my child's old school), freelancing was and remains a real job. I was putting a lot into freelancing and my fiction suffered as a result. I do know people love Middle Age Rae of Fucking Sunshine and Reptile, but neither were the story I wanted to tell. I could have left We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams as is. It is a completed novella, but it is not the story I want to tell, much like Rae and Reptile. They both suffered because I was under high amounts of totally unnecessary stress at the time of writing them (I think I've talked about Rae in interviews). So I was already aware of what stress could do to my ability to write fiction. Although freelancing was stress I signed up for, it was still stressful and with the hours I was putting in, especially during lockdown, it was toxic stress (but only temporary, I weighed up the pros and cons of it). 

In a world after all the legal changes, I know I will come to a time where I will be less busy and phone the police on those causing me unreasonable levels of stress. So, although the freelancing was stressful, I was trying to advance my career in the only option I had at the time (I think my son was around nine when I started, maybe eight, but not old enough to be left home alone at the time and then the lockdowns started). I have three of these novellas: We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams, That's Where All the Magic Is and The Daisies That Open At Midnight (this last one was started before I secured a few freelance clients, but there were too many creeps around plus trying to regain lost skills for me to focus). I decided that given my circumstances at the time, to not publish any of them and come back at a later date to make them into the books I want them to be. There is less pressure on me to provide proof of everything I am doing and to accomplish (although there is some pressure which I talk about later, there isn't pressure to accomplish anymore). 

So, I've gone all the way through We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams now and part way through That's Where All the Magic Is. I am putting parts of That's Where All the Magic Is into We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams (I may use the title elsewhere but it won't be for a Neon Dream story). 

And I've started writing around the story that is already there and moving things around so it is less confusing and less immersive. I thought the story should start in the 1980s with one of Gloria's debauched parties. As I'm a bit of a prude, I've done a lot of research into the Golden Age of Hollywood, plus a few of the bands from the 80s really did seem to live the life and looking at a lot of fictional versions of these types of parties. And I'm writing the opening based on a lot of research. There's always at least one cunt though that will think I'm writing from life (these people really need to be locked up for the safety of the rest of us). Due to the fact that I wasn't born until 1984, I wasn't even physically able to attend drug induced orgies in the early 80s because I didn't yet exist.

Then there's a lot of cocaine in this part of the story (and through out, going to need to work a way around cocaine and heroin incompatibility issues for the next part) - I doubt anyone snorting that much blow would be able to get it up. But it is fiction, so we can ignore how excessive drug use can result in erectile dysfunction (Viagra, which later appears in the story did not hit the market until the late 90s, I think 1998, but don't hold me to that - a lot of my freelancing work involved writing medical leaflets and ghost writing for pharmacists, before moving onto marketing medicine, hence the Viagra, there's somewhere where life overlaps fiction, I was writing about Viagra for freelance). 

And that's what I spent the past few weeks doing. I like to think the world has moved on and if I don't appear busy people will leave me alone, but since the mid-lockdowns people have been absolute cunts again. I've managed to escape any harmful "help" but people still don't understand that I'm extremely busy and need time to think and research and reflect to write the sorts of novels I want to write. 

And I've also been working on other projects. This first part of We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams has hints of horror and sci-fi but it is largely transgressive fiction. This is something I haven't written much of since Xanthe (I can't remember the name of her story, but it was one of those Holy Shit! a prude woman wrote this! stories, it was only a short one at any rate) so I have a full blown transgressive novel going on in my notebook at the same time. And as I think sex scenes should be erotic, no matter how disgusting they are, I have a short sci-fi bizarro erotic piece also happening in that same notebook. Then I've also been drawing and working on a practice cut up. Then I have a personal life, a career and a home life. Sometimes, I just need to rest. 

And what was the point in putting myself through university and then arguing with the cunts around me (including my child's old school before anyone says oh you made a choice to be around those people - I didn't chose to be treated like that by a bunch of teachers and any other school I looked at treated me in the same condescending manner, and all the other drama occurring at the same time from very self destructive people that according to my child's old school also knew better than me - there was no escape until the law changed) if I can't have friends and a social life? I may not have any money to go out right now, but I've been speaking to my actual friends. They aren't like what has been going on in the horror community (and why I stepped away) with the same types of self destructive and very shallow people I was so thankful to finally be able to phone the police on when the law changed. It feels so nice to be able to have time for my actual friends again. Never take your friends for granted. 

And on that thought, it is Sunday. Jessie-cat needs her bath and I'm cooking roast dinner and me and my son are going to watch a film and relax a bit before the week starts all over again. 

Each author has a different reviewer policy, so here's mine.

If you want to review any of my books, I can offer a free e-pub copy of my self-published books. Unfortunately, anything I have out with publishers at the moment are either mobi's or I lost the files. 

Although reviews upon release are nice, I'm not fussy. I like reviews one year after something has been released too. I had one of those the other week for Name Dropping With Hayden that was nearly one year to the date of the book first appearing on godless. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter when a review comes in. Reviewers are unpaid and giving up their time. If I send a reviewer something and they don't get around to reading it for 18 months, I still want the review and I'm not going to nag you for not reviewing it right away. I find that behaviour incredibly unfair and mean. I don't know what is going on in your life, even if you are very open about it and plaster it on social media, I probably miss it. 

I repost good reviews and 1* reviews (provided I have the time). So, once you review it, send me a link or tag me on social media and you get a repost. I also understand, especially with #booktok that not all reviewers post text, but instead do video. I repost those too. 

Obviously, next year I won't have as many releases. I'm focusing on novels this year and these are novels I always intended to have released through a publisher. Some people may not realise this, but I started my writing career with publishers. I was typically relatively happy with publishers. I just wanted to learn how to self publish. So going forward, from next year onwards, it'll be a mix of traditional publishing and self publishing after focusing on self publishing through the pandemic. But anyways, the release schedule (even in 2018) when going with publishers is a bit longer between writing the book and it actually being released. There's other steps in there (although self-publishing has its own steps too, but with doing my own artwork etc, i'm not having to communicate with cover artists stuff like that, plus publishers release multiple books in any given year, so mine has to be on their schedule, not mine, and that could be two years after acceptance - fiction writing is an exercise in patience on top of everything else and obviously, the books may be rejected a few times before finding a home). 

This year will have less releases than the previous two years. And I've put Stef and Tucker on the back burner for now (they seemed a bit tired, so best to let them rest).

If you want advanced releases of what I have planned for this year: 

• ​56 Seconds is already on godless. It'll be reissued onto amazon on the last day of March/first of April. That's 5 years to the date that I first sent it to my publisher. 
• I have two godless only releases for the first half of the year that can be sent out in advanced. 
• I do not have a #31daysofgodless release ready yet, but I should have that by the end of August. 
• I have not put together my #antichristmas stories for godless yet, but those will work in the same way as The Dog Dies At The End. If you want a sneak preview, here you are. There are three of them. They may change slightly, or I may weave them together a bit so it is one long story rather than three short. Those should also be available around the end of August for advance reader copies (ARC). I will be participating in Christmas stories again this year (I will probably write those once I finish We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams), or at least, I intend to. 

​So, how do you get these books? Send me a message on social media. I may not be familiar with you as a reviewer, so blog links are welcome (or tiktok, youtube, whatever). I also take interview requests in the same way. And like with reviewers, I may not be familiar with you, so send a link. Don't assume that just because you have a big name, that I know who you are. I do have a life outside of horror and bizarro. Plus, Liverpool can be very insular (as I've mentioned before). 

Now for the readers: 
​A quick note on Ket Pandas and Snow White. I do plan on writing more Ketamine Addicted Panda books, but they are not on my schedule yet. With the first one, it was seven months to write and I was writing other things alongside it. I intend on self-publishing the rest of the series. With Snow White, it is pencilled in to finish from the second half of this year. That is subject to change, depending on how long We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams takes. I am still uncertain on how I am releasing Snow White. And yes, I know people want more Ghetto Super Skank. The Merpeople of Europa was always intended and I will one day get around to it. 

PS readers, you can take pictures of my books, whether you have them in print or on your e-readers and tag me in them and I'll give them a re-share. 

In terms of audiobooks. Both Night of the Penguins and Crackhouse in the Desert are only available on audible. At this point in time, I have no current audiobook plans for my self publishing releases. As I said, it is only no current plans. There's only so many hours in a day, and only so many days in a week. I have enough on my plate as it is. 

​And on that thought, time to get ready for the week. 

I've been seeing this a lot lately - people are once again really struggling to separate the art from the artist, especially in horror. This has proved exceptionally dangerous for me, especially since moving to Liverpool. When I get a chance, I will put this more eloquently but due to the nature of how dangerous this belief is, here's the quick ranty version.

I put a warning in my books (the self published ones, at least):  
Warning: I am never in the mood for sexual harassment or an armchair diagnosis.

And lately I've been a bit more elaborate. Here's the one from The Dog Dies at the End: Seriously, I made this shit up. It is not real. I really shouldn’t have to explain that to adults but there’s always at least one idiot who fails to separate fiction from reality. And, yes the dogs die in both stories and some cats and raccoons. You won’t be attached to any of them.

There was an incident in 2018 that led to these warnings and warnings related to avoiding Liverpool. And sometimes when I'm promoting my books on social media, I include them too. Just because of how dangerous people that think that an author is what they write are. 

Firstly, the people that can't separate fiction and reality are fucking unhinged. The scary thing is that some of these people are teachers and social workers, sometimes police officers. So people that really need to not be unhinged to do their jobs proficiently. 

Secondly, the wannabes that are writing their fantasies, whether sexual or violent, are just that - fucking wannabes. Loser edgelords, basically. There aren't many of them because the community of authors root them out. They get blacklisted. I'm not joking. Maybe they exist in little pockets of isolation (Liverpool, anyone?), but for the most part, they're blacklisted.

The authors that "make it" no matter how fucked up the shit they write is, are pleasant people who are nice to be around. They certainly are not doing the things described in their books. They may not be my besties, but that's because they usually aren't into knitting and watching 13 Going on 30 or Enchanted and feeding pigeons and I still don't have enough money or energy for much of a social life. 

Thirdly, a lot of fiction isn't even fucking realistic. Let's take one of my books for example. Ketamine Addicted Pandas - ket isn't even strong enough for a panda and do I need to say more, the characters are fucking pandas that escaped from the goddamn zoo. Nor do pandas reproduce in those levels. What the hell is wrong with you people? I wear pink and sleep with my fucking teddy bears and feed pigeons and listen to synthpop. Jeez! Who I am in person is very different to the books I write. I even surprised the checkout worker in ASDA when I mentioned that I write (I was reading a book of the shoulder of the person in the queue in front of me). She asked what I write and when I replied horror and some erotica, she didn't believe me. Because I'm cute and was wearing a dusty pink coat. 

Seriously, the creatives aren't the problem. It is the people going around saying that authors that write certain things are writing from life that are the problem. Apart from being unhinged, they create situations in which women creatives are dealing with personal problems because too many people are listening to the unhinged idiots and wannabe edgelords. I've personally been grabbed and worse because apparently "you write it, so you must want it". I had an ex go and spread a bunch of made up rumours about me because he was upset that I wasn't living the life described in my books. He was reading too much into them. And guess what, I no longer date because he wasn't the first man to do that. Even if I had the time for dating, I wouldn't. Because people read too much into things. 

When one of these unhinged idiots can't separate reality and fiction people approach me, I now report it directly to the police for harassment and also suggest that they need to be sectioned. Because these people are dangerous. They are seeing things that aren't there. They do it because they're insecure and not all that bright. And when people aren't all that bright they lash out. They want to feel smart and powerful so they tear down others and try to ruin lives. 

It is like the dragons in Game of Thrones are going to fly right on out of the TV screen (or book) and fuck shit up! I'm still waiting for these dragons. Where are they? And the ice zombies? 

I present to you I Am the Walrus by The Beatles. The song a) makes no sense and b) I believe Lennon wrote it and he was a wife-abusing controlling douchebag. The song however, is pretty good and in no way implies that he was that way inclined. 
Please try and make sense of this song and the "yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye" the next time you decide that an author is what they are writing. 

And if you really can't stand The Beatles because of what John Lennon did, here's Nik Kershaw who as far as I'm aware isn't a douche but the song is just as much nonsense as I Am the Walrus.

​PS. If you watch the Nik Kershaw one, that's where the lips in the wall in the Neon Dream come from -a fucking music video. Nothing from life. And genetically engineered glory hole lips (as that's what they are in my stories) are pretty fucking scary and let us all take a moment to hope that they never become real. But the words themselves: "The walls have lips in the Neon Dream" sound pretty together and it gives some atmosphere and a clue to the nature of the Neon Dream. 

So I've been experiencing some stress. My life is specifically arranged to make stress easier to handle because it can kill me. That does mean I won't be on social media as much. But let's face it, with this year's projects I won't be around as much. And hopefully, the actual cause of the stress will calm down as I'm nearly out of stress-busters (tips from a medical professional, it doesn't involve any substances). 

There's a screenshot of what I'm facing with We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams. I would like to send this to beta readers by the end of June so I can spend the rest of the year doing the same thing to Snow White. And I have some short stories to write, interviews etc. 

First order of business. Thank you for picking up the ebook of 56 Seconds from godless. The amazon release, with paperback and hardback will happen in March. That'll be five years to the day that I sent the manuscript to the publisher. If you only read my extreme horror or bizarro, this one is very different. Here's a bit of background about Era Two to give you a general idea of the larger project it is a part of. There will eventually be a multi-media installation for 56 Seconds, but with losing all my skills etc, and still needing some equipment, I haven't put that together yet. 

Secondly, there's been some reviews:

At the top is The Dog Dies at the End, reviewed by fellow crazy pigeon lady Nat Whiston. The Dog Dies at the End is only available on godless. 

Below, we have a review for Name Dropping with Hayden from Mick Collins. This one is available on both godless and amazon. 

And don't forget to pick up your free ebook copy of Call Me Hoop from godless. It is free for the entire month. Read what I wrote about it the other week here. 

And finally, we have a video of me reading from my Call Me Hoop story The Scratching Post. There seem to be an awful lot of creeps on youtube but so far, no creepy comments on this video thankfully. I told off one of the creeps on one of my videos yesterday (he asked if I would do a private video call) and his creepy arse took offence to it. It really is not acceptable for creeps to objectify women. It pisses me off. 

That's right the entire first season of Call Me Hoop is free for the entire month of January on godless. You can read about Amy, who is one of my most vile characters. I think we all know someone like Amy. I've known a few. Some lived off bank of mum and dad while others tried to live off state benefits (given the poverty rates those are paid at, it didn't really work). They're best avoided. You can also meet Theo and all the other scumbags...

​From Drew:

It’s 2023. We would appreciate your consideration of CALL ME HOOP in the ANTHOLOGY category for all upcoming horror awards.
Rather than beg you to buy it… we’re giving it to you for FREE for ALL of January.
The word on the delayed season 2 of Call Me Hoop is coming very soon. You know what else is coming very soon?
The Call Me Hoop YouTube show on Chilling Tales for Dark Nights… narrated by the great Nick Goroff

https://godless.com/products/call-me-hoop-season-one
The Devil Knows Your Name. Learn his.
Earth has become a playground for the "Big Man Downstairs" to shell out punishment to the most disgusting and vile scumbags of our society. A racist cop, a murderous Karen, and a psychotic rapist are just three of the “touched by malevolence" targets on the devil’s personal damnation list.
CALL ME HOOP is a totally unique form of horror anthology where eight different authors bring you twelve entwined stories that will change everything you know about heaven… and hell!
Always one step ahead of you, when Sonny Hooper asks you to call him Hoop, the trap is already set. Be prepared to pay for your sins.
Reading CALL ME HOOP is an experience like binge watching 12 episodes of a TV show. All of the stories are connected to a bigger picture saga about the kingdoms of heaven and hell... and how they battle in the 21st century.

https://godless.com/products/call-me-hoop-season-one
For You Consideration: Anthology
Creating CALL ME HOOP as a horror lit experiment on the Godless platform, author Drew Stepek established a universe, a set of rules, and a menacing antagonist named Sonny Hooper. These elements were blended together into a seemingly procedural narrative more akin to a television series than a themed-anthology book.
Stepek then enlisted authors Lucy Leitner, Lucas Milliron, John Shupeck, Jr., Lewis Kelly, Peter Caffrey, Dani Brown, and Ryan Harding to help him bring this terrifying world to life. The writers were tasked with painting the most loathsome characters they could dream up... and then delivering fitting punishments.
Reading CALL ME HOOP is an experience like binge watching 12 episodes of a TV show. All of the stories are connected to a bigger picture saga about the kingdoms of heaven and hell... and how they battle in the 21st century.

I'll be slowly getting back into writing and art projects over the Christmas break from my actual job. I love what I do for a living, but even if you love what you do, you still need a break every now and then - me included. I still have a lingering cough from that dreadful cold that is going around, but I'm feeling much better than I was. 

As I stated before taking some time away, I'm going to be backing away from indie horror for a bit while the drama calms down and new additions to the community learn to treat others with respect. That won't really impact releases for 2023 (I'll be formatting the next two shortly) but it will impact releases for 2024 onwards. I haven't seen such as explosion of red flags post-legal changes since the creeps when I was newly single. 

I do plan on starting the year focusing more on visual art and hope to finish it focusing on sound. Writing plans for the year mainly involve finishing up We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams, which I had started when I was a freelancer so it needs a lot of work. And I also want to do something with Snow White (I still haven't decided how to release it, especially with backing away a bit). Plus some experimental stuff (mainly written for now before going multi-media with it) and some erotica. With We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams, the intention was always to go through the traditional publishing route. I obviously really learned how to self publish these last few years (I'll put that up in a year in review soon) but I will be going back to the more traditional publishing routes now that I'm confident and happy with self publishing (just need to hone the skills). 

In terms of life, this upcoming year is more of a holding pattern year. I'm going to need to pay off the debt from those ten years I wasn't allowed to work in the field in which I'm qualified to work. So, I can't really do anything exciting or life changing.

Once the debt is cleared, then it is that last problem (the really complex one) gifted to me by people not letting me work in the field I'm qualified to work in (thankfully I have a paper-trail going all the way back to 2007 of me trying to work and family not letting me, which in turn attracted more people who were just the same as my family into my life, it didn't let up until the law changed and even then, it only let up, it didn't stop). All the debt is on a repayment plan already, so nice and set up to start 2023 right. I have obviously started paying back some of it. I'll still have some to pay back into 2024 though. Then once that final problem is clear, I'll be seriously looking into moving abroad (not to a Common Wealth country or a USA territory - I really don't want anything to do with the UK or USA or people and systems that would create a bunch of needless problems for others, that's just plain evil).   

So back to the holding pattern while I pay down debt. I was in one from the legal changes to freelancing and freelancing felt like borrowed time because as I stated above, the legal changes only meant that people let up on me a bit, that didn't stop people from causing drama. I lost nearly all of my skills in those ten years after graduating so I had to focus on getting some of them back before freelancing. Holding patterns allow for some rest and regrouping. And I can focus on honing my skills. I do hope to have the visual skills to start freelancing again in a slightly different area within the next 18-24 months, but the freelancing won't be as intense as when I was freelancing for a living. 

On top of the final stretch until Christmas, I have been unwell. Thank you for picking up The Dog Dies at the End without any promotion or even a landing page. Everything I planned on doing on my day off needs to be done today (except sorting out my prescriptions). Oh, and my fridge/freezer broke, so things like my nails and picking up some vape fluid have to wait until after the new one is delivered. 

Luckily, I didn't have too much planned writing wise. Still need to record my two Christmas videos, still need to format and do two covers for Godless releases for the first half of 2023, then I'm onto some practice cut-ups. I will be doing the landing page for The Dog Dies at the End in just a few minutes. 

Here's a video explaining what I need to do...

Last week, I mentioned my vacuum cleaner breaking while suctioning up flea dirt. This week, I have a new vacuum cleaner. I'm not usually one for Black Friday sales, but I needed a vacuum cleaner before the fleas made my cats sick. 

I have wanted a decent vacuum cleaner for so many years now. This was one of many reasons I wanted to establish a career and independence for myself all those years ago. Things like working vacuum cleaners were always denied to me (and depending on the person, I'd either be shouted at because the house wasn't clean or shouted at for wanting to live in a clean environment or told I had no one to impress so I shouldn't bother cleaning). 

I am so happy with this one. So much cat fur has come off my carpets. I didn't realise my rugs could look so clean. Was it worth rushing to ASDA the day my tax credits cost of living payment arrived? Yes. Was it worth risking myself in a taxi? Yes. And it was the last one in the shop. Even my son was excited about it and took pictures to send to his friends. He was the one to unbox it while I used the flea spray (also in the picture) to quickly treat the house. 

On Thursday, I did the proper clean and de-fleaing. By this point, it seemed most of the fleas were dead, but you can't be too cautious with a flea infestation. Plus, they run the risk of triggering a PTSD reaction (as I mentioned last week). 

I had time booked off work for Thanksgiving long before the fleas and my vacuum cleaner breaking. I had a half day on Thursday. Cleaning my house and vacuuming everything was not how I planned on spending Thanksgiving but it is now so clean in here.

I finished the cleaning yesterday, so woke up today with no chores. That is a nice way to wake up on a Saturday. I did cook a turkey yesterday. All the pans are washed and put away but the serving dishes holding the leftovers are still out. And there's some laundry that can't go in the tumble drier hanging up, but apart from that, everything is clean. Even did the dusting. 

I am going to try to finish up those few things I have to do now. And then I get time away from writing while I enjoy the festive time and decide if I want to finish off Snow White or We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams first. Or, work on something else entirely (I have that cut-ups project, some sound projects and more than a few visual art projects). 

Oh and vacuuming is so much quicker and easier now. Plus better for my back. 

We've arrived at the final run up to Christmas. As I've previously stated, between the late August Bank Holiday and Christmas is exceptionally busy for me. At this point I am down to writing one Christmas story. Need to record me reading two Christmas stories (including the one I am writing). And then I have to finish formatting 56 Seconds for re-issue plus do a cover for that (GIMP was frustrating me earlier today, so I didn't get very far). After that, I will be formatting a gnome story and the marmite story for godless.

​Then I'm done. I will most likely have a Halloween release for godless (and maybe even amazon) and I will have a Christmas release for 2023, but I will be taking a step back from indie horror for a bit. I have a lot of other projects I want to finish off anyways. I obviously have a godless only Christmas release for this year. 

The final straw for me arrived when another author questioned why I get my hair and nails done if I'm not interested in dating. That's a major red flag. That's rape culture right there. As I stated a few years back, women don't fashion themselves based on impressing other people. It is not my job to deal with these people. I am not a social worker. I had to deal with this same sentiment growing up and it was unpleasant and it only attracted more people with beliefs like that into my life. Obviously, I don't want that. 

Last time I took a step back from indie horror it was due to creeps. You know the sort, they see a single mother and try to wear me down into dating or sex that I don't want. They also think that everything a woman does is to impress someone else and attract a man. So, basically, same sentiment. (At one point, someone even convinced himself I was cleaning my house to impress him and would go out of his way to cause drama and distractions so my house never got fucking cleaned). 

If you follow my social media, you may catch videos of me calling myself "Nobody" or "No one". I've had a lifetime of people telling me "no one cares about your makeup so why bother putting it on" and well, I care. I don't care if no one else cares (because they really shouldn't) but I care. And it has applied to every single fucking aspect of my life this "no one cares". It doesn't matter if it is makeup, cleaning my house, my nails, something I'm wearing or my business or my writing or my art. It has been absolutely everything about me. What I really want to know is why these people who clearly don't like me still try to inflict their company upon me? Jeez, go find someone you do like and stop taking my time and taking me away from people who do like me. 

​In other writing news, I think this week's big seller was Broccoli. As I've stated before, this final stretch to Christmas makes it difficult to track book sales. Thank you for buying. That was one of my early experimental ones. Told entirely in second person present tense. And it is really disgusting. 

And in life news, my cats have fleas. They've been given a second lot of drops because the first lot failed (two weeks ago, the fleas mutate but the cats don't, so you still need to leave a delay). However, my vacuum cleaner spat sparks at me while I was trying to vacuum flea dirt. Although it picked the right time of year to break (because they're all about to be on sale), I didn't finish vacuuming flea dirt. I'll be getting a new one either when the cost of living grant arrives (I'm still entitled to tax credits, I'm just on zero payments until April now because with the Inland Revenue messing up everything they overpaid this year's award already) or my last overpaid taxes payment. 

I'm hoping these fleas won't trigger a PTSD reaction. For those that don't know, my mother had an awful lot of cats and I've kept cats my entire life. I know how to deal with fleas. But way back when I first moved to Liverpool and my son's father was alive, he decided I didn't - this was years before legal changes. And he forced me into using products I knew didn't work, wasting time and money and one of my cats nearly died. And then he would get mad at me because the products wouldn't work but apparently worked for his brother. He also blamed me for his flat mate having fleas and spreading them around the office. And then he "discovered" flea sprays and drops and claimed all credit for treating the fleas with the same products I intended on buying anyways before my cat nearly died and he decided I didn't know how to treat the fucking fleas. Luckily, that incident is already documented and filed with everyone who was connected to him mentioned. (And yet another reason to back away from indie horror for a bit, far too much harmful advice I don't need or want in terms of managing my life. I clearly don't want people like that in my life. And well, the law is different now so I can and do phone the police and report people like this for harassment, but I'd rather not have the bother.) 

There were still live fleas this morning. I have treated with just drops before but that was when I had a working vacuum cleaner. So, fingers crossed my cost of living grant arrives this week and not next. I did plan on a really big Christmas this year and buying some new clothes for myself, but that money is now being spent on a new vacuum cleaner. 

I'm really excited for my new vacuum cleaner. I have needed one for years but never had the money and I will have it soon. And I always wanted a good one. And that's what I'm going to get. 

Plus, I'll still have money to celebrate Christmas. And I'm excited. Not just for my time off work and spending time with my son (might dig out the Playstation Classic) but for Christmas in general. This is the first time since early childhood I have felt this way. Typically, Christmas, especially since having my son, would induce anxiety with no one around me (yes, this includes family and my son's old school staff and teachers, so people that I couldn't escape from) letting me earn a living (I guess, keep them dependent and then they can't abandon you mentality there, not sure about the school though). Therefore, I've never really been able to afford Christmas (a big fuck you to that guy that decided my business was being set up just to impress him, I needed that business to earn a living in the field in which I'm qualified to work in). This year I can. And once Christmas Eve hits, I bake a cake and order delivery and my door won't be open again until after Boxing Day. Therefore, no one taking their stress out on me or inflicting their company on me when they clearly don't like me. 

Things will be a bit tight from January until April when tax credits start again, but I'll be on the right tax code and I've had a raise so I'll get by (provided nothing else breaks and pasta doesn't double in price again). And it won't be nearly as bad as last year. Hopefully, I'm off that knife edge now. Still living month-to-month (otherwise I'd have a new vacuum cleaner right now) and have a mountain of debt, but things are moving in the right direction. And I get to work in the field in which I went through Hell to get a degree in order to work in it. 

And on that thought, I have to change kitty litter without a vacuum cleaner to suction up any spillages. I've tried over the years putting down newspaper or plastic bags when I do it, and it doesn't help. Plus my bin bags are a bit thin. Hopefully they won't break. 

Have a nice week. Hopefully I'll be back to post again before Christmas. Not sure if I'll have the time, especially with the getting rid of fleas added to my already tight schedule. Thanks for all the book sales. You can check out my art too. 

I don't typically do landing pages for anthologies. I don't even have one for The Year's Most Hardcore Horror 3 and that was a really big deal (I should probably do one for the Bumper Book of British Bizarro at some point as I helped put that one together. The only reason Call Me Hoop has one is because of how those stories were released.) There was a time a few years back (prior to 2018) when I was having anthology and magazine releases near monthly. Tracking down all these anthologies and magazines and working out what is still in print and what isn't would take an entire weekend. So in fairness, I don't do the landing pages for them. 

In Uterus, as the title suggests benefits a horror reviewer who is recovering from surgery. All sales go to help her out during this time. 

It is the new home of Gang Bang at the Old Folks Home. If you like that, you'll probably enjoy my latest release 30-50 Feral Hogs versus the Big Bad Unicorn. Gang Bang at the Old Folks Home takes it name from the Steel Panther song. I still don't like metal (except black metal and some of the heavier industrial bands, some does not mean all), so don't try to pretend that I do or create some sort of fake connection based on music I don't actually like (that's a really horrible thing to do to someone). 

from godless..

In Uterus is a charitable anthology for Corrina Morse, book reviewer extraordinaire and darling of the horror, splatterpunk, and bizarro communities. It has been produced to help cover her costs during recovery and recuperation from an urgently needed hysterectomy.

Initially, the team contacted the great and good of literary society, but they weren’t at home. Neither were the up-and-coming bright young things. In desperation, they finally reached out to the n’er-do-wells: the writers who lurk in the dark corners, the ones who brush past you in street muttering barely-intelligible curses, the faceless ghosts who rub up against you on crowded public transport, leaving mysterious dirty marks on your clothes.

These stories will make you scream, weep, puke, laugh, shit, and even touch yourself in a bad way, hopefully all at once. They are the soothing ointment you’ll relish after the mad gynecologist with the rusty scissors has done his most dastardly thing!
Authors in this Anthology:
Matthew Clarke
Russell Holbrook
Peter Caffrey
Todd Love
DE McCluskeyy
Sean Hawker & Simon Mchardy
Michelle Butcher
Kevin J. Kennedy
Jason Myers-Author
Natasha Sinclair
Ruthann Jagge
Brian Berry
Dani Brown
Jim Ody
Henk Wester
RJ Roles
Reek Feel
Frank Edler
Terry Miller
James G. Carlson
Ben Arzate
Mick Collins
Andrew Lennon
Drew Stepek
Jonathan Butcher
R.J. Benetti
Donna A Latham
Peter Blakey-Novis

PS. sorry about the butt rock, but the lyrics are so funny, much like my story.