This must be one of my most requested stories. Marmite. The most disgusting vile substance known to mankind. You can't launch it into the Sun because the resulting solar flare would send Marmite particles bombarding the Poles. Earth's electro-magnetic field wouldn't be able to cope and we'd all die. Not from solar radiation but from the Marmite hitting our skin. 

No, my Marmite story isn't about propelling it into the Sun. But, it is as disgusting as the substance itself. Nearly. If you propel my story into the Sun, we'd survive. I did write this story to try to have Marmite banned. Unfortunately, since it was first released, there's been even more Marmite products appearing on supermarket shelves. One of these is Marmite peanutbutter which replaced Reese's peanutbutter. I am not happy about that. Plus there's fucking Marmite cheese. Why is Marmite ruining all these perfectly good products? Who is buying this stuff? 

Synopsis: After a night's debauchery, Frankie eats yeast extract straight from the jar with his fingers. He shares what leaks out of his anus and the yeast extract with his pet ferret, Butt Weasel, while remembering the night before. 

You can purchase it from godless on the 18th of March for 50 cents.  Remember there are no pre-orders on godless but thought you'd like to see the page. 

PS. GIMP and text are not a good match. I will either install a plug-in or use different software for text in the future (I could not get my name to wrap around the drawn ribbon thing no matter how many times I tried, turns out it is a problem with GIMP and not me - so far, that is the only thing I miss from Photoshop). 

On 12th January 2022, 56 Seconds will be live on godless.com. On 31st March, 56 Seconds will be live on amazon once again. There might still be some paperback copies floating about if you can't wait that long. 

​You can read the interviews I gave during the first release over here (scroll to 2018 - I haven't gotten around to making that page pretty yet, sorry, it looks like a trainwreck, but that's where all the links to my interviews can be found). And more information about Era Two is over here. 

If you're used to reading my genre fiction, 56 Seconds is a bit different. It is prose poetry. You can read some of the reviews on goodreads to give you an idea of what you'll be getting with it. 

Washed up dee jay, Donnie, relives his life in a series of flashbacks while being taunted by Marcy. 

If only I was that clever to come up with the Mariah story. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this but I absolutely detest Christmas songs. 

So, I've decided to put this year's Christmas stories into Coming Soon. Why? Because I'll release all three together for Christmas 2023 just as I did for Christmas 2022 with The Dog Dies at the End. 

The dog doesn't die at the end in any of these (there's no dogs). These Christmas stories follow a central character Leon as he comes to terms with his death. I haven't decided on reading order yet for the Christmas 2023 release but the first story I wrote was Sugarplum Cockroaches (which should be read last, I think). And you can check it out on Meghan's Haunted House of Books. 

Then we have Gracie, which I've included the video for below as it was part of Lex Jone's Christmas Calendar stories. This year my story was read by Alicia Perez. Then we have me reading Spiders Nest in the Ceiling for British Bizarro. Please note, I had a really bad cold/flu so I'm in bed reading it this year instead of in front of my Christmas tree. 

And on that thought, I'm going to wash my hair and then help my son in the kitchen (he also caught my cold but is better now and will be baking Christmas presents shortly - when I recovered enough to clean my house, there was cookie dough all over the kitchen, but at least he has a hobby that takes him away from video games for a bit). I hope everyone who celebrates a winter holiday enjoyed it and if you celebrate two or more, I hope they were stress free. 

I'll probably format these and do the cover some time in June. 

My Godless #antichristmas release for this year is the text versions of The Face of God and Glass. These two stories are similar in nature, in that everything appears perfect. They aren't as extreme or intense as what you've been seeing from me over 2021. They're both a bit weird though (Glass was rejected, not for content, but for weirdness, a few years back). 

And as the title suggests, the dog dies at the end. This occurs in both stories. In The Face of God, you will discover that the dog isn't really a dog. In Glass, the dog is hardly in the story and experiences the same fate as everyone else. If it were a film, the death would occur off screen. 

You may recognise these stories. The Face of God was read by Simon Bestwick for Lex Jones' Christmas Calendar 2021 (I've just sent my story to Alicia Dominguez Perez who will be reading my story this year). And I read Glass for The British Bizarro Community's Christmas Ghost Stories last year.

The Dog Dies at the End will be released on Godless on the 3rd of December. It won't be having an amazon release. I will hopefully get a landing page up for it that weekend. However, it will be the final run to Christmas and I've promised my son a shopping trip that particular day. 

Above is The Face of God. And below is Glass. 

And now the complete British Bizarro Community's Christmas Ghost Stories 2021

So I finally completed 30-50 Feral Hogs versus the Big Bad Unicorn. And that has a godless only release date of 26 October 2022 as part of the #31daysofgodless (we did this last year too, I released Stef and Tucker Book Three The Flowering Penises because I was worried my actual Halloween story would be lost). 

​To prepare yourself for this one, you may wish to read The Snow Queen. That will explain the portals that drop cocaine in on Call Me Mike and why he can smell topical flowers through his dulled senses. Barnett is the prime minister Winter is tormented by through the mirror shard in her heart. He came before Call Me Mike and is mentioned a few times in 30-50 Feral Hogs versus the Big Bad Unicorn but his story isn't complete yet (Snow White). 

Call Me Mike is the prime minister with a fondness for pigs. He loves the little piggies so much. He's also experienced a surgical mishap, but he's cool with that because he's a much cooler PM than his predecessor. He needs a holiday. One without his wife Alex. One where no one will recognise him and he can spend all the time he wants with piggies. 

Drew over at godless kindly gave me a new cover with my original image. My graphic design skills still require a lot of work to get them back up to the level they were at.  But I've come a long way since that first cover for Ghetto Super Skank (which I will one day replace). 

And on that thought, I still have to send a cranky email before I can go buy bread and salad and then wash the floors. I'll put up the landing page for 30-50 Feral Hogs on the weekend after the release day. You can follow me on social media to get the book as soon as it comes out (which will be when I'm at work, but I'll keep my notifications on that day). 

Well, I have finally made some progress on the two things I've been working on. I have a workable first draft for 30-50 Feral Hogs v. The Big Bad Unicorn. I also nearly have a cover for that one. And after the bank holiday weekend, I am nearly done with my second Scumbags book. 

Again, I need to remind people that I need the actual time to write the books. So thank you if you have been respecting this and a big fuck you if you haven't. 

Once my Scumbags book is sent in, I will turn that workable first draft for 30-50 Feral Hogs into a completed book and hope to bring it to you in October. Try to remember this time of year is the busiest and most tiring time of the year for me. As much as I may want to do the thing and it is great to invite me to in-person things if they're affordable because I might be able to make it, I may not be able to make it. I am doing the best I can, but there is only one of me. 

Chester and Lester's Christmas in July Special has just released. I plan on two more releases this year; one in October and another in December. I have two more projects to finish before I am back to Snow White.

I intend on self-publishing Snow White with releases every month for about 12 months, then a paperback and maybe a special edition hardback etc. I won't be putting out the first part of Snow White until the last part is finished. Basically as I change parts in the middle and end, it changes the beginning. I'm hoping for a January release, but if not, then March. It should come in segments that are around 10-20 k long. 

Me and February releases don't work well. Although no one could predict that within a week of Becoming's release, people would be panic buying toilet roll, but that did negatively impact sales. Sparky came out the year before, also in February and it could have gone better (I think Sparky the Spunky Robot and Becoming are the two books on amazon that haven't fucking linked the ebook and paperback as well, bastards!). Then this past year, Stef and Tucker 4: Secret, which could have had higher release sales. I know it is part of a series and that impacts it, but February just isn't my month. 

Once I finish Snow White, I will be returning to We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams, That's Where All the Magic Is and The Daisies That Open at Midnight in addition to some of the other stories that fit in with those three. I intend on going through a publisher and probably using an agent for those ones and the rest of Era Two, which may evolve into an Era Three. I haven't given myself a timeline for this. I haven't even looked into possible publishers or agents. 

I'm basically going to go where the writing and art (there will at least be a lot of visuals in this time but I am hoping to add sound as well) takes me. I learned over the last few years, that I shouldn't force anything. When I was having to force myself to write at 5AM and sneak around, a lot of what I was writing wasn't as good as it could be and I was always more experimental and literary than what I had published in that time. 

Sometimes I write silly stories like Chester and Lester, other times I write stuff that is both silly and sick in the head like Ketamine Addicted Pandas, and sometimes I writer extreme stuff like Reptile. And sometimes what I write while still being genre fiction is dark and weird, like Ghetto Super Skank, but that particular one is one of the bridge stories (stories that bridge between my love of experimental lit and genre fiction, unfortunately until the legal changes took place, I couldn't pursue experimental stuff any further at that point in time). 

And I can't force myself to write either experimental stuff or genre fiction on demand. When I try, I screw up and have something unpublishable which is frustrating for me. At least these days, it is just frustrating and doesn't have any worse impact on my life like it used to have. 

I will obviously return to genre fiction when the time is right. I know people are asking for the second Ketamine Addicted Pandas 2 and yes, I have ideas and notes but if I try to write that now, it will be shit. Basically, Sex God, Stef and Tucker, Chester and Lester will return in the future, but I don't know when. I'm not sure where the fairytales will be as some are silly, like the Midnight Pumpkin Fucker and what I'm working on now and some are a bit more serious like The Snow Queen and Snow White. I have notes for silly genre fiction ones but I may work with slightly more experimental ones while I'm finishing Era Two. And who knows, maybe I'll put out something disgusting like Name Dropping With Hayden while I'm working on my more experimental stuff.

And do remember, Broccoli is still an experimental book as is 56 Seconds, no matter how popular they are with readers of all types, they're both experimental with one being prose-poetry and the other in second person. So you will find stuff from me in this time. Plus you'll have a full year of Snow White releases while I'm doing the bulk of dealing with my experimental stuff. 

I hope everything is spelled correctly but it can be easily fixed if not. 

Chester and Lester's Christmas in July Special will be out on the 27th of July. Only on godless. This is the absolute last of my monthly releases. I'll be back in October and again December with godless only releases. Only one short story and two novellas to write until I'm back to Snow White. 

Quick note: Godless still isn't loading on my computer, it is loading on my phone, but it is really easy to search, just go to "what the fuck are you looking for" at the top of the screen and type in Dani Brown, followed by enter. 

Whatever health condition I have flares pretty badly in the summer and I'm exhausted from carrying it around with me. Between working full time, being a mother and having other projects, I need to sacrifice something. It is going to be the monthly releases. Plus people are being arseholes and reverting back to their douchey ways and here if you missed this and the stress of dealing with them makes the health problem worse (hopefully not permanently, I didn't put myself through eight long-ass years of education and then ten years of arguing with people just to die early without having lived my life). 

June is scheduled, files sent to godless and already uploaded on their servers. That is Stef and Tucker 5: Mile High. You can pick up the first four Stef and Tuckers from godless (where they're cheaper) or amazon. 

I'm nearly done with July. That is a Chester and Lester story. Right now, it is titled Chester and Lester's Christmas in July schedule, but if it comes down to it, I will release in August. 

August was going to be Sex God: Shaved Bear. I will eventually write this. I know Sex God Ultimate Pleasure Machine (only available on godless) is selling very well, but I don't have any reviews on it yet. I hope you are enjoying it. December was going to be Sex God Tiffi-Lynn. I am now going to do what I did in March and release two short stories. These are both previously seen, one on this website and again read out on youtube and the other just read on youtube. Obviously, I know Tainted 07/The Human Connection were both unseen stories, but these Christmas ones didn't reach a large audience and one was only briefly available in written form. 

I'm still debating about September. I wanted to do a second Stupid Things Extreme. I'm torn between positive thought (the list of stupid things people have tried to tell me about positive thought over the years is very long), that time I was told to invest in a multi-level marketing scheme by an ex, or men telling me what to wear over the years (since I was little girl, in fact, it started with a female kindergarten teacher at the god awful and totally evil private Christian school my parents sent me to) because apparently women are 100% responsible for men's pervert thoughts and emotions.

If I can get a Stupid Things done, then I might release in October. As Name Dropping with Hayden proved, they are super fun to write. That's because I did start what was going to be October's release last night. That is 30-50 Feral Hogs, which is the three little pigs but with cocaine, a dick transplant and a former prime minister and way more pigs for the former prime minister's pleasure. 

Once I get July's release, 30-50 Feral Hogs and maybe a Stupid Things Extreme done (and my Scumbags story) I will be finishing Snow White. I'm hoping to have the first part done for a January release, however, I will not work myself so hard I end up in the hospital. Snow White is a story that is continuously evolving. I need to have it done entirely in a workable draft (just needs editing draft) before I can get that first 10k or so ready to be released. 

After Snow White, I will be returning to some of my experimental texts. Some of them are on the border of genre fiction and I need to decide between experimental lit and genre fiction for some of them. That's going to take my attention for a good 12-24 months. I'm probably going to look for publishers for them. And I might write some of my shorter releases, like Stef and Tucker Six: Anal Exorcism (which I was going to release in November) while I work on them (and maybe more Sex God or Chester and Lester). 

I get asked this a bit. People are waiting for Ketamine Addicted Pandas 2 and a follow up to Ghetto Super Skank (where Jo-Jo and Old Woman Mabel are imprisoned on Europa). I hear you. After I sort out The Daisies That Open at Midnight, We Gave the World Synthpop Dreams, That's Where All the Magic Is and a few others in Era Two, I will start turning notes for them into a narrative. The follow up to Ghetto Super Skank is probably going to be much longer and Ketamine Addicted Pandas 2 is going to be around the same length as the first one. These aren't little projects and as the first ones were written so long ago, they're going to take me a bit longer getting back into them (and do you have any idea of how many characters are in Ket Pandas!?!).

I tried doing a follow up to Sparky the Spunky Robot and it didn't quite turn out as I wanted (Karen and the Crabs from Outer Space) and I don't want to repeat that, especially with the length of some of these text only projects. And you know, I fought to have this life. I don't want to burn myself out and not enjoy it where I can because I'm working too hard. 

Once I get the rest of the releases done for this year, even on the reduced schedule, I will try to give Ghetto Super Skank and other books that need a new cover now that I know what I'm doing, a new cover. These new covers will run along with me working on Snow White and my experimental stuff because once I'm done with everything I want to release this year, I am slowing down and mainly concentrating on longer things. 

Stef and Tucker Book Five Mile High hits godless on the 25th of June. It'll hit amazon about four weeks after that. Who wants to see the cover? 

You can join the erotic adventure in ebook on godless (search Dani Brown) or in paperback on amazon. 

And a reminder that these stories are fiction. Most people are capable of understanding that, however, there's always at least one creep weirdo that thinks I can magically grow a dick and be into these things. Life doesn't work that way. I'm still prude and the more of you creeps I come across, the pruder I get.