Gang Bang at the Old Folks Home
By Dani Brown
It was a wise move building the old folks home next to the cemetery - it made logistical sense. There was a funeral parlour tucked into its immense grounds. A prune plantation resided on the other side. These old folks were spoiled. Unfortunately, the planners didn’t consider that old folks may like something to make their diarrhoea that bit more explosive. Pizza loaded with fifteen types of chillies for instance.
There were enough chillies exploding into toilets that night to wake the dead. It became a drainage issue. The owners of the cemetery, old folks home, prune plantation and funeral parlour argued with the city council over who had responsibility for the pipes. They had been leaking sewage all over the land for years. When the wind was blowing in the right direction, the smell would move over the town and hover there for a few days if the gods were pissed off with the residents for whatever reason (usually a lack of human sacrifice).
Diarrhoea was a better lubricant than what could be bought in a shop. The old folks didn’t have access to shops – only pizza delivery. Every pizza delivery person who showed up there wasn’t allowed out again.
The nurses working the desk did nothing to put a stop to it. They tried their best to ignore the goings-on in the TV room. The stuff of nightmares lurked in there. Old people shouldn’t have sex.
They ripped their incontinence pants from each other with their teeth and dentures. It was a sight to give the nurses nightmares for the rest of their lives. Staff turnover was high at the old folks’ home. The funeral parlour next door had had to make numerous nurse corpses look pretty after they’d blown their brains out when the images wouldn’t leave them. They were buried next to their former place of employment, often facing it so the memory could follow them into the afterlife.
The pizza delivery guy that night intended to escape with not just his dignity but his life as well. He was not about to be sexually assaulted by a bunch of people who needed their prune juice thickened. He copied the hair and makeup from his sister’s magazines and threw on his best leather jacket over a torn tee shirt. He checked himself in the rear-view mirror. He was a walking piece of confusion. The old people won’t touch him. They would eat his pizza. He’d added an extra special secret ingredient tonight.
He walked in. The smell rose up to knock him back. The nurses on the front desk didn’t bother to look up. The sacrificial pizza delivery guys weren’t missed by anyone. He couldn’t see much above the stack of pizzas. He dropped them on the desk. The nurses still didn’t bother to look up.
Double doors blocked the way and held in the worst of the old folks’ smell. He swallowed. His pockets were filled with baggies of the extra special ingredient, double wrapped so none seeped onto his skin. Guatemalan death chillies were hard to come by – even rarer in powdered form. The old folks will melt from the inside out. No more pizza delivery. They wouldn’t have intestines for much longer.
This particular pizza delivery guy walked with a spring of confidence in his step. The smell beyond the double doors made his eyeliner melt. It burned his eyes. But he kept walking. He had a surprise for the old folks. His foundation was next to run.
He could hear the old people in the TV room. One jumped out of the bathroom using a Zimmer frame for balance. She had a gun in her mouth rigged up to her false teeth. Another granny stood beside her.
“This way,” she cackled.
He was held hostage and forced to walk on. Guatemalan death chilli powder would take them both out but first he had to put down the pizza. Once the pizzas were out of his hands, his clothes were torn away. The smell had dissolved some of the leather, making it weak. That jacket was meant to be able to see him through a motorcycle accident!
His cock would have shrivelled up but someone already had a diarrhoea-lubricated fist up his arse and a toothless mouth on his dick. It had nowhere to go except down the old person’s throat. His girlfriend would never believe he was raped by a tag-team of grannies. Good and hard, they demanded he fuck their neck skin while fingering their arseholes.
Pizza was served up on paper plates. He had a wrinkly cock in his mouth, so declined a piece by shaking his head – he knew what was on it. The old folks didn’t make it to the toilet. Drainage problems existed with the floor-tiles too (the owners of the old folks home decide to cut costs on all areas for maximum profits). Guatemalan death chilli-laced shit seeped into the ground and the cemetery next door.
This was the shit that woke the dead. Slowly at first, as some old folks had to take the time to run their pizza through a blender. He didn’t notice.
The granny he fucked beneath him was moaning her last. Her dying hole sucked up his spunk as her bowels released. He couldn’t stop blowing his load even though she was dead. She’d eaten a slice of pizza before demanding he fuck her to next Tuesday and he’d complied. There wasn’t any choice - his balls would go blue otherwise, a painful condition.
She was lively and warm when he’d first dove in. Her breasts sagged to her knees but he didn’t let that stop him. Someone took out their dentures to suck his arse while he pumped into her. He must have been riding too fast and she’d had a heart attack at the same time as reaching the mystic female ejaculation.
Fucking a corpse had never appealed to the pizza delivery guy but he couldn’t stop until his spunk was gone. He kept pumping. The corpse changed colour beneath him as her final bowel evacuation seeped back into her pores. It didn’t have the pallor of a still-warm body losing colour – it took on a tinge of green as the diarrhoea re-entering her body travelled around. There was a reason the chillies were called Guatemalan death chillies. As he pulled away, with cum and granny cum dripping from his dick, the corpse reanimated.
Noises were heard from the cemetery. People trying to escape the confines of their caskets. Those in the morgue fared better – they didn’t have inches of polished wood to claw through. They didn’t bother to help their brothers and sisters beneath the earth – there was a gang bang to attend.
The pizza delivery guy backed up with his cock out. Another green-tinted granny jumped on him before he could go soft. The green didn’t return their youth. He checked his hands. They weren’t green. He tried calling for a nurse but a big green cock with grey pubes was shoved down the back of his throat.
A window shattered and a brick landed on the floor. There were more outside looking to claw their way in. The lights were attracting them like moths. Big green gooey moths with shredded skin in place of wings.
The pizza delivery guy tried to back up with a green-tinted granny riding him and a green dick in his mouth. There was too much weight. He fell. It was impossible to look around with balls hitting his chin and a hairy grey pubic trail in his eyes.
He needed his trousers. Guatemalan death chilli powder was in the pockets. He didn’t realise this was the problem. The stuff was well beyond the realms of hallucinogenic and right into the world of reanimating the dead, regardless of how long ago they died and how far away their souls were.
Some of the souls had been reincarnated, which made for some very surprised relatives when their family member dropped dead in front of them. Their screams could be heard over the clawing through caskets during pauses in the gang bang.
The fresh ones from the morgue came in through the broken window. Embalming fluid was no barrier to green skin. Being dead was no barrier to a gang bang.
The grandpa who was throat-fucking the pizza delivery guy blew his load. The taste was of sour rotten eggs with added salt and undertones of decay. The green-tinted man pulled away and ran towards a granny with his ejaculating cock in his hand. He bathed her cum, which was blue (unless it was a trick of the light), giving new meaning to the term ‘blue rinse’.
With the granny on his back, he tried to pull himself along the tiles. They had been polished to a dull shine – it made cleaning body fluids easier for the nurses. But it made the tiles hard to grip at first. If the reanimated could claw out of a casket, they could easily dig a tunnel of a few feet in length and claw at the concrete foundations of the old folks home. As they reached the TV room, the tiles were pushed up from below by green hands. It made the tiles easier for the pizza delivery guy to grab a hold of and pull. He went a few feet. He was close to the door now, his trousers with their pockets and Guatemalan death chilli powder forgotten. Another few pulls and he’d make it.
A hand from below reached up and grabbed his ankle. There wasn’t much skin on it. It was mainly bone held together with cartilage and death rags. The hand belonged to the former bed occupant of the first granny he fucked.
The mattress hadn’t been changed before the granny he fucked was moved onto it. He didn’t know any of this but the granny he’d fucked until she was dead did. She launched herself at the hand coming out of the floor. Along the way she lost her false teeth and came across the contents of the pizza delivery guy’s pockets..
Fiddling with plastic wrappings in both hands, she only had her gums to attack. She didn’t appreciate having to sleep in the same bed in which the previous occupant had died. They might have to share tonight given she had risen. Other previous residents of that very bed were still underground trying to figure their way out.
The bones came away easily enough in her mouth. It wasn’t enough to feed her appetite. She needed more. The ankle of the pizza delivery guy hadn’t gone far. She latched her gums onto that and received a mouthful of leg hair for the effort. Healthy pink flesh was tougher to bite into than bone with a few flaps of green skin. The pizza delivery guy pulled his ankle away. The skin wasn’t broken.
The granny then reached for the one on his back. She was still fresh, but once the green tint set in the skin was weak. The granny he’d first fucked to death had a feast. She poured the chilli powder all over second-dinner while it kicked and thrashed about, its face in the pizza delivery guy’s arse and masturbating with someone’s wooden leg. Guatemalan death chilli powder did not make a good lubricant, even in one already dead. It burned away her green flesh leaving nothing for the hungry reanimated granny to eat. The reanimated granny ripped away a thigh bone to beat people with and the other to shove up her arse.
The pizza delivery guy puked. Fucking grannies was vile enough, but looking over his shoulder and seeing them all fucking each other in various states of decomposition was worse. His eyeliner ran into his mascara and down his cheeks in rivers. The reanimated grannies were attracted to it. But he couldn’t help crying, not after the sights he’d witnessed. He wished he could claw out his eyes but there was too much chilli powder.
A wind blew in from the broken window, sucking the chilli powder out and carrying it high into the atmosphere to rain down on a larger cemetery in a city two thousand miles away. Guatemalan death chilli powder didn’t affect the already dead. The wind managed to blow it around in the TV room. It was strong enough to make the diarrhoea airborne.
The pizza delivery guy had to be out of the room before it rained back down. He wasn’t making good progress with the reanimated trying to fuck him and more pushing the tiles up, bringing with them chunks of cut-price concrete. He pulled with his hands and kicked with his ankles.
The first tint of green spread from his fingers after grandpa’s arsehole ended up in his way. All that thickened prune juice, pizza and using bed posts to shove stolen earrings and dentures up there meant it was loose enough to take a fist before the pizza delivery guy realised where his hand was going.
He accepted death and reanimation, as long as he didn’t have to spend eternity in a gang bang at the old folks’ home. Even the nurses would be a better fuck. He had to get out of the room to make it to them. One hand in front of the other forevermore. Kick with the feet (also turning green but he didn’t turn around to see), pull with the hands.
Someone with a few natural teeth left bit into his bare arse. He’d had it waxed two days ago. These teeth were strong and sharp. They tore away a chunk – the green hadn’t spread there yet. It was still fresh and tasty. The reanimated smelt the blood on the air. They stopped fucking and flocked toward him.
A granny with a tongue to rival Gene Simmons stuck it up his arse. The best flesh was in there, she declared. The reanimated moaned. They wanted him. His fingers and toes came away in mouths. The green hadn’t spread any further. It made the rest of the flesh tough except for the handful of reanimated with their natural teeth.
They rolled him onto his back, crushing the granny with the Gene Simmons tongue beneath his arse. She didn’t care, her tongue was eating him from the inside. With a tongue up his arse, it was impossible to go limp. A green-tinted granny with shit caked to her arse breathed in the chilli powder and jumped on board.
The wind was changing. More reanimated were climbing in the window and pushing up the floor. The dead couldn’t sweat; otherwise it would have been a sweaty affair. The fluids leaked out of their arseholes instead.
The smell was something to make the nurses come from their desk to see what was happening. They usually ignored the plight of pizza delivery guys. There was something pressed against the door. They looked in through the reinforced glass window. Nurses are nurses because of their strong stomachs – but all three lost their lunch onto their white shoes.
They tried to run for it, but the tiles beneath their feet came up, attracted to the smell of puke and fresh flesh. Bony hands grabbed their ankles; the old folks they’d neglected in favour of answering Cosmo’s latest quiz were hungry.
Old men liked to have their cocks played with. Dead now, they still had cocks to play with. The mortician liked to ride all the corpses so would pump extra embalming fluid into the men’s dicks. Even the bodies buried deep with no one to mourn their loss had hard dicks.
The uptight nurses were pulled down to the broken tiles. Their trousers were pulled down by bony hands. Underpants were brushed aside, except in the case of the one wearing a thong – that was ripped away by dentures. That nurse lost her cheek flesh as the man climbing onto her bit her arse. He’d had them filed extra sharp whilst he was still alive.
When what was left of the pizza delivery guy reached the door, he couldn’t get out due to the nurses blocking it. The window was still open but only old people and uptight nurses with their heads blow off were buried in the cemetery next door. Hope lay in the prune plantation owners being young or having daughters.
He tried to turn around. It was pretty hard on his back with a dead granny pumping herself away on him like she was a jockey and he was the horse. The green tint travelled up his arms and legs making his flesh more edible for those with dentures or reduced to just their gums.
Grannies and grandpas pounced on him. If they couldn’t fuck him, they could eat him down to the bones. The granny riding him reached into his chest and pulled out his heart. She bit into it as she reached reanimated orgasm.
Other grannies wanted a bite. They clawed their way over to her and pulled her off his cock trying to get to the heart.
Someone else jumped on him and rode. His cock didn’t have embalming fluid to preserve it through eternity. The process of decay had already started. It was hard, for now. It was the only place in his body that could hold blood but it wouldn’t hold for long. He was destined to watch reanimated grannies and grandpas fuck forever.