We've arrived at the final run up to Christmas. As I've previously stated, between the late August Bank Holiday and Christmas is exceptionally busy for me. At this point I am down to writing one Christmas story. Need to record me reading two Christmas stories (including the one I am writing). And then I have to finish formatting 56 Seconds for re-issue plus do a cover for that (GIMP was frustrating me earlier today, so I didn't get very far). After that, I will be formatting a gnome story and the marmite story for godless.
Then I'm done. I will most likely have a Halloween release for godless (and maybe even amazon) and I will have a Christmas release for 2023, but I will be taking a step back from indie horror for a bit. I have a lot of other projects I want to finish off anyways. I obviously have a godless only Christmas release for this year.
The final straw for me arrived when another author questioned why I get my hair and nails done if I'm not interested in dating. That's a major red flag. That's rape culture right there. As I stated a few years back, women don't fashion themselves based on impressing other people. It is not my job to deal with these people. I am not a social worker. I had to deal with this same sentiment growing up and it was unpleasant and it only attracted more people with beliefs like that into my life. Obviously, I don't want that.
Last time I took a step back from indie horror it was due to creeps. You know the sort, they see a single mother and try to wear me down into dating or sex that I don't want. They also think that everything a woman does is to impress someone else and attract a man. So, basically, same sentiment. (At one point, someone even convinced himself I was cleaning my house to impress him and would go out of his way to cause drama and distractions so my house never got fucking cleaned).
If you follow my social media, you may catch videos of me calling myself "Nobody" or "No one". I've had a lifetime of people telling me "no one cares about your makeup so why bother putting it on" and well, I care. I don't care if no one else cares (because they really shouldn't) but I care. And it has applied to every single fucking aspect of my life this "no one cares". It doesn't matter if it is makeup, cleaning my house, my nails, something I'm wearing or my business or my writing or my art. It has been absolutely everything about me. What I really want to know is why these people who clearly don't like me still try to inflict their company upon me? Jeez, go find someone you do like and stop taking my time and taking me away from people who do like me.
In other writing news, I think this week's big seller was Broccoli. As I've stated before, this final stretch to Christmas makes it difficult to track book sales. Thank you for buying. That was one of my early experimental ones. Told entirely in second person present tense. And it is really disgusting.
And in life news, my cats have fleas. They've been given a second lot of drops because the first lot failed (two weeks ago, the fleas mutate but the cats don't, so you still need to leave a delay). However, my vacuum cleaner spat sparks at me while I was trying to vacuum flea dirt. Although it picked the right time of year to break (because they're all about to be on sale), I didn't finish vacuuming flea dirt. I'll be getting a new one either when the cost of living grant arrives (I'm still entitled to tax credits, I'm just on zero payments until April now because with the Inland Revenue messing up everything they overpaid this year's award already) or my last overpaid taxes payment.
I'm hoping these fleas won't trigger a PTSD reaction. For those that don't know, my mother had an awful lot of cats and I've kept cats my entire life. I know how to deal with fleas. But way back when I first moved to Liverpool and my son's father was alive, he decided I didn't - this was years before legal changes. And he forced me into using products I knew didn't work, wasting time and money and one of my cats nearly died. And then he would get mad at me because the products wouldn't work but apparently worked for his brother. He also blamed me for his flat mate having fleas and spreading them around the office. And then he "discovered" flea sprays and drops and claimed all credit for treating the fleas with the same products I intended on buying anyways before my cat nearly died and he decided I didn't know how to treat the fucking fleas. Luckily, that incident is already documented and filed with everyone who was connected to him mentioned. (And yet another reason to back away from indie horror for a bit, far too much harmful advice I don't need or want in terms of managing my life. I clearly don't want people like that in my life. And well, the law is different now so I can and do phone the police and report people like this for harassment, but I'd rather not have the bother.)
Then I'm done. I will most likely have a Halloween release for godless (and maybe even amazon) and I will have a Christmas release for 2023, but I will be taking a step back from indie horror for a bit. I have a lot of other projects I want to finish off anyways. I obviously have a godless only Christmas release for this year.
The final straw for me arrived when another author questioned why I get my hair and nails done if I'm not interested in dating. That's a major red flag. That's rape culture right there. As I stated a few years back, women don't fashion themselves based on impressing other people. It is not my job to deal with these people. I am not a social worker. I had to deal with this same sentiment growing up and it was unpleasant and it only attracted more people with beliefs like that into my life. Obviously, I don't want that.
Last time I took a step back from indie horror it was due to creeps. You know the sort, they see a single mother and try to wear me down into dating or sex that I don't want. They also think that everything a woman does is to impress someone else and attract a man. So, basically, same sentiment. (At one point, someone even convinced himself I was cleaning my house to impress him and would go out of his way to cause drama and distractions so my house never got fucking cleaned).
If you follow my social media, you may catch videos of me calling myself "Nobody" or "No one". I've had a lifetime of people telling me "no one cares about your makeup so why bother putting it on" and well, I care. I don't care if no one else cares (because they really shouldn't) but I care. And it has applied to every single fucking aspect of my life this "no one cares". It doesn't matter if it is makeup, cleaning my house, my nails, something I'm wearing or my business or my writing or my art. It has been absolutely everything about me. What I really want to know is why these people who clearly don't like me still try to inflict their company upon me? Jeez, go find someone you do like and stop taking my time and taking me away from people who do like me.
In other writing news, I think this week's big seller was Broccoli. As I've stated before, this final stretch to Christmas makes it difficult to track book sales. Thank you for buying. That was one of my early experimental ones. Told entirely in second person present tense. And it is really disgusting.
And in life news, my cats have fleas. They've been given a second lot of drops because the first lot failed (two weeks ago, the fleas mutate but the cats don't, so you still need to leave a delay). However, my vacuum cleaner spat sparks at me while I was trying to vacuum flea dirt. Although it picked the right time of year to break (because they're all about to be on sale), I didn't finish vacuuming flea dirt. I'll be getting a new one either when the cost of living grant arrives (I'm still entitled to tax credits, I'm just on zero payments until April now because with the Inland Revenue messing up everything they overpaid this year's award already) or my last overpaid taxes payment.
I'm hoping these fleas won't trigger a PTSD reaction. For those that don't know, my mother had an awful lot of cats and I've kept cats my entire life. I know how to deal with fleas. But way back when I first moved to Liverpool and my son's father was alive, he decided I didn't - this was years before legal changes. And he forced me into using products I knew didn't work, wasting time and money and one of my cats nearly died. And then he would get mad at me because the products wouldn't work but apparently worked for his brother. He also blamed me for his flat mate having fleas and spreading them around the office. And then he "discovered" flea sprays and drops and claimed all credit for treating the fleas with the same products I intended on buying anyways before my cat nearly died and he decided I didn't know how to treat the fucking fleas. Luckily, that incident is already documented and filed with everyone who was connected to him mentioned. (And yet another reason to back away from indie horror for a bit, far too much harmful advice I don't need or want in terms of managing my life. I clearly don't want people like that in my life. And well, the law is different now so I can and do phone the police and report people like this for harassment, but I'd rather not have the bother.)
There were still live fleas this morning. I have treated with just drops before but that was when I had a working vacuum cleaner. So, fingers crossed my cost of living grant arrives this week and not next. I did plan on a really big Christmas this year and buying some new clothes for myself, but that money is now being spent on a new vacuum cleaner.
I'm really excited for my new vacuum cleaner. I have needed one for years but never had the money and I will have it soon. And I always wanted a good one. And that's what I'm going to get.
Plus, I'll still have money to celebrate Christmas. And I'm excited. Not just for my time off work and spending time with my son (might dig out the Playstation Classic) but for Christmas in general. This is the first time since early childhood I have felt this way. Typically, Christmas, especially since having my son, would induce anxiety with no one around me (yes, this includes family and my son's old school staff and teachers, so people that I couldn't escape from) letting me earn a living (I guess, keep them dependent and then they can't abandon you mentality there, not sure about the school though). Therefore, I've never really been able to afford Christmas (a big fuck you to that guy that decided my business was being set up just to impress him, I needed that business to earn a living in the field in which I'm qualified to work in). This year I can. And once Christmas Eve hits, I bake a cake and order delivery and my door won't be open again until after Boxing Day. Therefore, no one taking their stress out on me or inflicting their company on me when they clearly don't like me.
Things will be a bit tight from January until April when tax credits start again, but I'll be on the right tax code and I've had a raise so I'll get by (provided nothing else breaks and pasta doesn't double in price again). And it won't be nearly as bad as last year. Hopefully, I'm off that knife edge now. Still living month-to-month (otherwise I'd have a new vacuum cleaner right now) and have a mountain of debt, but things are moving in the right direction. And I get to work in the field in which I went through Hell to get a degree in order to work in it.
I'm really excited for my new vacuum cleaner. I have needed one for years but never had the money and I will have it soon. And I always wanted a good one. And that's what I'm going to get.
Plus, I'll still have money to celebrate Christmas. And I'm excited. Not just for my time off work and spending time with my son (might dig out the Playstation Classic) but for Christmas in general. This is the first time since early childhood I have felt this way. Typically, Christmas, especially since having my son, would induce anxiety with no one around me (yes, this includes family and my son's old school staff and teachers, so people that I couldn't escape from) letting me earn a living (I guess, keep them dependent and then they can't abandon you mentality there, not sure about the school though). Therefore, I've never really been able to afford Christmas (a big fuck you to that guy that decided my business was being set up just to impress him, I needed that business to earn a living in the field in which I'm qualified to work in). This year I can. And once Christmas Eve hits, I bake a cake and order delivery and my door won't be open again until after Boxing Day. Therefore, no one taking their stress out on me or inflicting their company on me when they clearly don't like me.
Things will be a bit tight from January until April when tax credits start again, but I'll be on the right tax code and I've had a raise so I'll get by (provided nothing else breaks and pasta doesn't double in price again). And it won't be nearly as bad as last year. Hopefully, I'm off that knife edge now. Still living month-to-month (otherwise I'd have a new vacuum cleaner right now) and have a mountain of debt, but things are moving in the right direction. And I get to work in the field in which I went through Hell to get a degree in order to work in it.
And on that thought, I have to change kitty litter without a vacuum cleaner to suction up any spillages. I've tried over the years putting down newspaper or plastic bags when I do it, and it doesn't help. Plus my bin bags are a bit thin. Hopefully they won't break.
Have a nice week. Hopefully I'll be back to post again before Christmas. Not sure if I'll have the time, especially with the getting rid of fleas added to my already tight schedule. Thanks for all the book sales. You can check out my art too.
Have a nice week. Hopefully I'll be back to post again before Christmas. Not sure if I'll have the time, especially with the getting rid of fleas added to my already tight schedule. Thanks for all the book sales. You can check out my art too.