While unwell, I managed to send Jeani Reactor one of my digital portfolios, with the message "ignore the graphic design, I do my best to avoid using AI stock but I cannot promise that it is AI free". She had been having problems getting art for the Horror Zine that is free of AI slop. She picked some of my older pieces to include in the Horror Zine April Issue. 

​Before I fell sick, I had been working on some drawings. I will be getting back to them over the upcoming weeks. I can't do any new paintings until I sort out a dining room table (which I had intended on doing over the winter, but I spent all winter sick).

So, I did accomplish some things while unwell. PS. I will obviously be happier and have more energy. Having a viral infection is not pleasant and I was under medical advice to rest. A viral infection does take away energy. Trying to arm chair diagnose me with something I don't have, especially while being under medical care while unwell is only going to have you reported to the relevant authority. I shouldn't have to explain the nature of viruses to adults, but yet, here we are (five years after a global lockdown caused by a viral infection). 

I am keeping my opinion of any boycotts to myself (see my previous post about struggling to manage stress after being unwell). I am coming more from a place of acceptance. Boycotts are real. People are organising them. People are taking part. I will not be arguing for or against these boycotts. It is a waste of energy for someone who doesn't have much or much time under the best circumstances. These boycotts, in turn, have hurt my book sales. Here's some other options to get my books. 

• However, Amazon is not the only place to buy my books. You can head on over to godless and buy my self published ebooks.
• You can also buy signed books directly from me. Full disclosure: I do use amazon's KDP services and these were, as a consequence, printed from amazon, but before the boycotts. 

As I've posted previously, I have been unwell since the end of January. I had been diagnosed as having post viral fatigue, but after a Monday night spent with my lungs hurting and a Tuesday spent in bed bringing up god knows what from my lungs and then a week of runny nose, tiredness etc, I seem to be on the actual path to recovery. It is very possible I was misdiagnosed with post viral fatigue and had something more along the lines of the notoriously difficult to spot dry pneumonia. At any rate, I am feeling a lot better, although not 100 percent. At the worst, I was unable to open the window at work due to weakness but I can do that now. 

However, due to being unwell for so long, I am having difficulties managing stress. Technically, I am under medical and legal advice to stay away from certain types of people. But in reality, that just isn't possible. So I have specific technics for dealing with them, but being unwell, I couldn't do so. Adding to that, because I've basically been under medical advice to rest since early February, I haven't actually gone out other than to work, routine appointments or to pick up a few bits since before Christmas (I rarely make plans in January, January is meant for writing, resting and giving my bank account a break). So, for the most part, the only people I've been around are people I'm meant to avoid wherever possible anyways (the controlling types who think they know what is best for everyone, don't let others finish their sentences because apparently these people know exactly what is to be said, etc). I've been down this road before in Liverpool when I had a bunch of people like that dumped on me and every time I managed to escape one, two more would be dumped on me. 

Also, my gel nails came loose while I was still really unwell. I did have them reapplied because I just thought I had post viral fatigue and they do sometimes come off, but it seems as if there wasn't enough nail and my natural nail is so weak, they had nothing to grip onto. I will have to get the rest of them taken off. It'll be anywhere between 4-12 weeks before my natural nails can take fresh builder gel. I get the builder gel because my fingernails are so brittle that they break and catch in my clothing, so I'm in for an unpleasant few weeks. (Not like I should have to justify getting my nails done, but there's been enough people around me who seem to think I get them done for others when it is purely self-care, it isn't even selfish. People like that are cunts and pretty damn dangerous ones at that.) I forgot being sick can cause problems with nails. 

So, I seem to be recovering. But it will be some time before I'm back to my usual self. Obviously, being unwell also attracts a host of pretty horrible people who want to 'fix' me or 'help' me or 'look after' me. So, they need to be dealt with as well. (Honestly I can't stand these predatory types who prey on people when they're vulnerable.) Then adding these predators to the people I'm not meant to be around to begin with, they both attract each other. 

While unwell, I did manage two interviews and the new books are coming along. If you follow my social media, you will sometimes be treated to an out-of-context post it note. 

These novels I'll be working on for the next three to four years deserve their own playlist. If you followed me on social media around early 2018, I was starting to play around with having a specific playlist for writing and then another for chores. Those stories eventually became Era Two and started with a Sugababes song. From there, I eventually ended up with Coil's version of Tainted Love being the main song on my playlist. 

This time around I am starting with Nine Inch Nails with Starfuckers Incorporated. However, unlike the Sugababes song where it was the lyrics that were inspiring, it is the visuals of the music video. Basically, I will end up with two playlists:

• One for when I'm physically at my laptop writing.
• The other for when I'm out and about or doing chores. 

I'm looking for suggestions for the chores list. I already have Backstreet Boys and Judas Priest on there. I'm not a big fan of boy bands or heavy metal (although slightly more tolerable than other types of metal). From those songs and the chores playlist, others will make it onto the main writing playlist. 
The rules are:

• No Post-Autobahn Kraftwerk. Firstly, that is God-tier and secondly, that is final draft music and has been since university. 
• No Placebo. Another God-tier band and they're already on both playlists. 
• Songs must be in English, German or Spanish unless you specifically state something like "hey this song is in French but look at the visuals in the official music video". 
• Avoid because they're already on the writing list: Siouxsie and the Banshees (really shitty music videos though) and I'll likely be reintroducing Coil. (Also no more Backstreet Boys and Judas Priest, the point of the playlist is to break up how often I hear their songs because I'm not a fan of either.)
• I am not a big fan of metal. No I don't need to 'just check it out'. That's why I don't like metal to begin with. It has been forced on me a lot in my life. I understand people get excited about the things they like, but a very small selection of metal fans take it too far. 
• No Depeche Mode because they dominated my last writing and chores playlist (especially Some Great Reward or songs from that album including Master and Servant and People are People). 
• Suggesting something will not make it 'our song'. 
• Your song may not end up on the playlist but it may influence or lead me to something that will. 

The genres I'm writing in are irrelevant to these playlists. Please post your suggestions on my social media accounts, preferably my facebook page. 

And here's Coil's Tainted Love for the sake of it. (If I hear anything related to "Soft Cell/Marc Almond original" or "The original came out in the 1950s" it didn't, it came out in the 1960s, I will have to document your behaviour. You aren't special, clever or impressive. However, if that behaviour fills part of a larger pattern, you will be reported to the relevant authorities.) Yes, this version was released about two years after the Soft Cell version and I believe it was by the same record label as well. Yes, that is Marc Almond.